#MyComplicatedLoveStory: My Jambito Experience – Episode 1


Missed the prologue? Read it HERE!


So for starters, I have a best friend and it’s a ‘she’, I don’t really think the ‘best friend’ with a guy thing can work because guys could be so uncaring and there are times you just need to stay put and cry on someone shoulder rather than watch football or play FIFA ’13. Her name is Sandra, she’s super cute and got killer curVes, she has got that kind of Toolz of beat fm backside *winks*, she’s also very warm, friendly and independent, thus never takes nor asks for anything from me unless I insist. She cooks too – very well!, in summary, she has got everything a guy would ever need from a girl. She is based and hails from PH, she is what I’ll like to call a full PH girl to the core.

NB: PH – Port Harcourt, the capital of Rivers state in Nigeria.

Here is the twist, Sandra is an EX, and she’s my first lady, not like am a governor or president though, just that she was my first girlfriend in UNIPORT. Yea, it’s kind of funny and complicated how things turned out, nevertheless, I love her just as a friend or so I think.

Here’s how it all happened …

I had just gained admission into UNIPORT, I’m one of those lucky people that has a relative in the ‘high places’ of the school, so getting admission was sorta like a piece of cake, all I had to do was make good grades and I at least credited all my subjects in my WAEC and did justice to the JAMB and POST JAMB – I had some backyard help though, after all after sitting at home for one whole year no be beans, so as I was saying, I got admitted into UNIPORT and I met Sandra during the usual hectic, generic, annoying, stressful fresher registration … una wey they school go understand wetin I mean, even now that I’m almost done with my program, I have like two course mates who don’t have a matriculation number because they haven’t finished the registration or something like that.

So I was finally done with my physicals after queuing for two straight days and headed to the quite famous ‘LULU BRIGGS HEALTH CENTER’ for my medical check up, when I got there I was informed that I’ll have to come back two days later because they had days for different departments and it wasn’t my department day. I was so pissed because I had wasted my time, I was dead hungry tired and frustrated and I also missed my way while looking for Lulu Briggs and this people were ‘yarning me bomb!’, I complained and ‘para’ for them but it fell on deaf ears so after shouting for like ten minutes and nobody answered me, my sense told me to just go back home, so I just package myself and went home with fury.

NB: Para mean complain, shout etc.

Back then I used to squat with one of my high school friend – Tayo and his roommate – Uche, when I got home, the house was empty but I heard voices at the back of the house so I went to check if it was my notorious friends and landlords for the time being, as I approached I started perceiving weed and somehow I just knew it was my landlord, Tayo.

You see, Tayo has been a chain smoker since high-school so wherever there is weed, there is Tayo.

I finally got to the back and I was right, Tayo and his friends where they were getting high and talking about football, lecturers, girls etc I just sat down with them and contributed to my own specialty – ‘girls’ *wink*.

Well, nothing really happened for the next two days though, it was just boring due to the fact that I was a fresher and hadn’t settled nor have friends. Finally the day for my department to do the Medical check up came and in other to impress nah, my packaging was war oh!.

I wore my best blue pens with a ‘tear rubber’ D&G 100% cotton long sleeves which I had ironed in a way the gettoh could peel yam, my dark green moccasin foot wear wasn’t a bad mixture neither and to top it all, I sprayed almost half of my ‘incidence made in Paris’ perfume. As I walked out of the house with my ear piece plugged in, I had a quick look at the full scale mirror at the exit of the lodge and I gave myself the ‘I go kill them today’ smile. On getting to the gate of the health center in a taxi I boarded, I dropped and walked into the health center, for a moment everybody in the health center stopped and turned back to stare, am not really an attention seeker so I didn’t know either to run or just faint. Neither of those three options seemed nice so I just chinned up and walked straight to a desk at the front the health center to make inquiries and I was directed, as I walked, I could feel about a thousand eyes on me, after a while I got used to it and besides I guess that’s what I was looking for when I dressed that way. I was directed to the office of the lady that shunned me the two days ago, but unlike the other day I came, she seemed strangely nice as she personally attended to me, she later gave me two labeled test tubes, one had ‘BLOOD’ written on it, while the other had ‘URINE’ … It was then I understood why she was acting nice.

‘URINE?!’ I asked in surprise, literally screaming.

‘Yes, urine, any problem?’ she asked with a mischievous smile.

Hmm, so how was I to urinate in public – in a tube for that matter, after all my packaging, and am sure some of my department girls would have had their eyes on me already.

‘Chai! this one would be hard oh’, I thought as I stared at the test tube confused.

TO BE CONTINUED tomorrow by 10am

ff @OfficialChistar


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