#B•I•T•C•H: Death, Not Today – Episode 6.



They say even when we are asleep or unconscious, the mind is always active until we are dead. That was the case of Jummy.

As she laid on the floor, at the verge of loosing her life, Jummy mind was as active as possible, there was every probability she was even cracking some jokes to her self because her lips seemed to have slowly curved into a smile, but that’s another story.

She wasn’t so conscious about what was going on around her, but she knew when a car parked at her side and the occupants- two men she thinks, came over to her side and lifted her up, then put her at the back seat of their car, she could but only pray they were samaritans who were taking her to a hospital and not anywhere else.

Her prayer was answered to the fullest when the two men stopped their car at the front of “Owolabi Private Clinic”, about ten miles from where she had the accident, and as one rushed inside to call for help, the other one opened the back seat door and tried to put Jummy in a state where it would be easy for the nurses to carry her in to the hospital.

Almost immediately, Jummy found herself being placed on a stretcher and carried into the hospital by the nurses and the two men following them, she made up her mind to at least see who the good samratians were before she totally passes out, and with one sudden outburst of adrenaline, she popped open her eyes and saw one of them, she scanned the environment for the second one but he was nowhere to be found. A nurse was already pushing her back to the stretcher and saying she needs to relax but Jummy wasn’t one to be told what to do so she kept on turning and searching as the nurses carried her to the emergency ward and at long last, she saw him, in Jummy eyes, he looked like an angel wearing an armor, but maybe that was just her mind playing tricks on her. He looked like he had been hurrying up to catch up with them.

“I’ve locked the car” he said to his friend, “what did the nurses say? Is the lady gonna survive?” He added in a foreign accent and had a sincere look of worry on his face.

The friend nodded in response, Jummy saw this and before she fully passed out, she smiled and mentally remembered one statement she heard when watching “Games Of Thrones” – when at the face of death, say, “DEATH, NOT TODAY!”, so she “Nigerianalized” it in her own funny way and murmured;
“Ogbeni death, no be today you go carry me go yonder”

She fully passed out.


Richard looked at his wrist watch for the umpteenth time and wanted to let out a loud scream of frustration, but he somehow controlled the urge to scream by tapping the floor with his left hand, so hard he probably had injured himself.

“I called this son of a bitch over an hour ago and even after promising to be here in thirty minutes he hasn’t arrived” he lamented out loud.

The truth is, Dr. Daniel would have been there thirty minutes ago, or lesser, but he was being delayed by the horrible traffic jam on the Cele – Mile 2 road, the traffic wasn’t really a new thing for the regulars but today’s traffic jam gave a whole new definition to the word “Traffic jam” as even the regulars hadn’t seen any one worst than it.

After driving like a snail for about forty five minutes in the traffic jam, Dr. Daniel got to the spot that had caused the traffic and saw it was just a yellow “Molue bus” that had been parked at the center of the road probably because the bus refused to start. He sighed and laid about a million curses on the driver, even though he was nowhere to be found. On a broader note, the driver would probably die before the next day because the amount of swear and curses people rained on him as they passed by the bus can’t possibly be contained by one person.

After conquering the bottle neck traffic jam at the Cele – Mile 2 road, it took Dr. Daniel about another thirty minutes before he could locate Richard’s house in Festac. He arrogantly drove pass the house twice before he decided to humble himself and ask for directions, he nearly bit off his head when he discorvered the house had been the one he could have tapped his chest and say that wasn’t the it, he grumbled some words of appreciation to the Hausa, or is it Fulani aboki who had directed him.

He picked up his phone and called Richard.

“Am at the site, where are you?”

“Good, give me a minute, am coming to pick you” and Richard hung up. Dr. Daniel was disappointed at him self for not being the one who ended the call this time.

Without even sparing a second, Richard literally ran out of the house, down to the gate and he spotted the a red Toyota Corolla just somewhere around the block. His guts told him the car belonged to Dr. Daniel, and he was right.

He decided to be sure and he called Dr. Daniel once again, as Dr. Daniel pressed the green button to pick the call, he placed his thumb on the red button so as to be able to end the call quickly.

“Hello” he spoke.

“Yea! What type of car are you in?” Richard asked.

“A red Toyota Corolla”

“Good, am at your back right now, come out!”

Dr. Daniel didn’t reply before he ended the call, he smiled with the funny thought of being the one who ended the call this time. He then walked out off the car and spotted Richard, he walked up to him and said;

“Do you know a lot has changed in this part of the city? I couldn’t even spot your house with out a little help from a friend”

“You came with a friend?” Richard asked in shock, he knew Dr. Daniel had no friends and he worked alone.

“Not really a friend, just some bloke I met when…”

“Spare me the details!” Richard cut in, “the point is you are here and we have no time to waste, let’s go”

“Okay, if you say so”

Dr. Daniel then pressed the “Lock” button on the car remote and just like magic, all the doors of the car automatically got locked.

“Lead the way” he added.


Mr Owolabi, the owner of “Owolabi Private Clinic” was furious at his nurses for taking in such a patient, his words were;
“Are you all insane? Didn’t you see she was already at the verge of loosing her life before you took her in? Aren’t you aware of the series of legal actions that comes with each death that happens in any hospital, let alone, a private clinic like mine!!!” He turned his gaze at one nurse Susan and added, “weren’t you here when the new nurses carried the lady to the emergency wars? Or have you forgotten what we went through the last time this clinic lost a patient, am disappointed in you!” He concluded.

All nurse Susan and other nurses could say was;
“We are sorry sir!”

“Sorry for yourself!” He replied immediately, “which of the emergency ward is she in?” He asked.

“Ward C, sir” Susan replied.

“Have you given her anything yet?”

“Yes sir, her some drugs that would stop the bleeding”

“Good, is everything ready for surgery? because am sure she would be needing one”

“No sir but I can…” Susan was about to say when a certain Nurse Titi who was a new nurse in the hospital interrupted her, “yes sir, I’ve set everything”

Mr Owolabi looked at nurse Titi and smiled but the smile disappeared when he looked at Nurse Susan,
“I’m really disappointed at you, nurse Susan. All you know how to do is ask for a salary increase, incompetent nurse.”

Susan bowed her head in shame, she was the eldest and probably the oldest nurse on duty in terms of years spent in the clinic, in all her service in the clinic, she had never been insulted so much by Mr Owolabi, she felt really bad.

“What are you all waiting for? Nurse Titi, nurse Jessica and nurse Susan, let’s go and save a life!” Mr Owobai said and led the way as the three nurse he had called followed him at his back.


Dr. Daniel got to Richard’s flat few minutes later and he was surprised as he didn’t see the body of Zainab as he had been told by Richard, so he asked and Richard replied;
“You don’t expect me to keep her body out in open, do you? I’ve dragged it to the basement, let’s go down there and see her”

Richard led the way, and Dr. Daniel followed. As soon as the got to the basement, Richard switched on the light and at the floor in the middle of the room laid Zainab’s body.

Dr. Daniel after his years of experience knew the first rule of his kind of business was to always get your facts straight before jumping to conclusion, so he decided to check if Zainab was really dead, even though she looked lifeless.

He walked close to her body and squatted beside it. He dropped the scary looking box he had been carrying all along and for the first time, he opened it. The smell that came out of it was too bad for Richard to comprehend, he let out a loud “Yuck!!!” And ran out of the basement, hoping the smell would subside so he could go back inside. Dr. Daniel expected the smell so had held his breath, contained in the box were things he planed on using to desolve the body and some particles of the last body he dissolved had rotten inside the box, thus the smell.

He took Zainab hand by the right hand and placed two fingers on her wrist to feel her pulse, surprisingly, he felt something but wasn’t sure.
He wanted to place his ears on her chest to check if he could here any heart beat when Richard came back into the room.

“What do you think you are doing?” He asked.

“What did you say happened to her exactly?”

“How is that your business? Just do what you are meant to…”

“Oh please! Would you shut the fcck up for once! Must you always be so arrogant? Answer the question before I teach you a lesson”

Being threatened by a man like Dr. Daniel wasn’t the position any one would love to be in, and Richard knew that. He told Dr. Daniel everything, starting from where he was punching Clement on the face to the part he pushed Zainab and the part she hit her head on the bed.

Dr. Daniel “hmmmed” and nodded at Richard explanation, and he brought out a stethoscope from his box which he placed on Zainabs’s left chest.
He smiled.

Richard had never seen Dr. Daniel smile and knew something was fishy.

“What’s funny Dr. Dan?”

“This wife of yours which you despise so much isn’t dead, and am so sure when I resuscitate and stabilize her, she would still divorce you”

Richard was shocked at how even Dr. Daniel had heard about the divorce scandals that had been the headlines of all blogs, newspapers and other press media.

“No! She can’t wake up, kill her now!” Richard screamed in terror.

“I’m done killing for you! You need to be taught a lesson” Dr. Daniel replied grinning.


ff @OfficialChistar


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