Just so you know, Uche is a cheerful giver not like stingy Tayo, he is rich as I have made clear earlier, he has the kinda complexion that would give Baba Suwe hope, as in his blackness no get part 2! The funny thing about Uche is, although he has got a twisted past with cultism and used to play girls, he is settled now, and has a stable girlfriend.
I later got to find out that from Tayo that this girlfriend of his name is Chisom, from my own perspective she is alright in all aspect, not too flashy or have any ‘outspoken’ feature, she is just normal but she is a chronic born-again christian, Tayo and I find this disturbing because every Sunday she always carry her two ‘left’ legs and come to the house, then literally drag the three of us to church even when we don’t want to go, how she manages to force three grown men to church still amazes me till date, woman power I guess.
Anyway after about the longest ten minutes walk of my life, I and my new found friend got back to the club, from a distance everything looked normal so that made us relax a little but getting closer we saw where there was a little crowed that seems to be growing by the second, without thinking twice we knew that’s where the ‘WAHALA’ was.
We got closer and I tried asking one babe what was happening, but it was no use because she seemed to be drunk and simply smiled at me, I don’t know what she was smiling about and don’t care. The best option was to go to the center of the crowd and see what was happening with my own eyes.
So after pushing, pulling, punching, cursing and biting a few people, Sandra and I finally got to the middle, and then we saw it. What I saw made me speechless and my body froze instantly.
There he was, lying on the floor, blood was rushing out of his head at an alarming rate and that made me nearly throw up because I hate the sight of blood… It was Uche, yes ‘URCH MONEY’ that was in the middle of this crowd,I was confused and didn’t know what to do nor think. Sandra again being her observant self noticed my mood and somehow figured it was my friend and pointed at Tayo who was at the other side of the crowd (I still don’t know how she knew I, Tayo and uche were friends up to today, maybe she was even eyeing me in the club too *winks*).
After starting at the body for a while, I got so curious and I headed to where Tayo was in other to get some answers, then I asked, “o boy, wetin happen for here nah?”
“guy I confuse oh, the thing happened to fast self”
“wetin happen to fast?? Talk better thing jhur” losing my patience
“me and Urch, say make we go outside go smoke some weed because smoking no dey allowed inside the club, na hyn we commot oh, as we dey find corner to do our thing, we no pay too much attention to wetin dey happen around us,. before we reach were we dey go, so axe men don surround us oh, before I fit talk Jack Robinson they do start to dey beat Urch oh,1 come use 1 sharp axe knack him head, na why hin dey bleed so, after them do finish wit Urch, them face me, I done dey piss for ground self because of fear, but them no touch me, them just say if Urch wake up make I tell am make hin leave chisom if hyn never read die” at that point I wanted to laugh but I compose myself, because I was surprised that cult boys had interest I such a churchy girl, I pictured capon with axe in his back pocket going to church…lol!!
After thinking of the whole case I knelt to confirm if Urch was truly alive, and then went to board a taxi, with the help of Tayo, we both put him in the taxi.
Sandra insisted she came with us of course but that wasn’t my problem tho, my guy was at the verge of dieing, so blowing (blowing means bleeping or sex) her wasn’t even on my mind.
We got home and placed him on a chair, Sandra requested for a towel and a bowl of warm water to clean him us and massage uche, we gladly provided all she asked for, and even brought a 1st aid kit which she used to treat his wound, which wasn’t that big tho, just a scratch. Afterwards we all went to slept, feeling like two gentlemen and Tayo slept in the parlor on the floor and gave Sandra the bedroom but she suggested we placed Urch on the bed while she slept on a small ‘hostel’ kind of bed we had around.
After gisting for a while with Tayo in the sitting room, slowly sleep crept in and we slept soundly, not knowing what was going to happen the next day would change my life forever!!!
It was around 1:23pm when I woke up on Saturday afternoon, Tayo who was by my side was still sleeping like a dead goat, not even shaking at all, but I didn’t bother him, yet, because after all that I assumed he had done in the club ,while I and Sandra were just gisting…he needed the sleep.
So I brushed my teeth and cleaned up sha, then sat down in the sitting room to check my email and things like that, it was at this point I realized I was hungry…
The kind of hunger wasn’t that kind, you say
“cheri kam bia” (wait I’m coming) to ,but sharp one, It was like the worm in my stomach were rioting, I can swear I heard them sing
“we no go gree o
we no go gree
big bros Michael give us our food !!”
with that annoyance I stared at Tayo with frustration, because the guy seemed not to care about anything other thing at that moment but sleep, one mind was telling me
“leave him to sleep ,be nice”
while the other was saying the direct opposite,
“wake him up, abi you wan make hungry kill you 4 here?”
well I gave it a thought and tried waking Tayo up, I screamed his name but he didn’t even shake tapped him…no response…kicked him, still no response… Then an evil idea entered my mind.
I went to the bathroom filled a bucket wit water and poured it all on Tayo,…the way the thing worked eh, was fantastic.
Tayo sprung up from his bed and started ran out of the house, cursing the person who poured him water, which was me…,
I just smiled and followed him outside, thinking he wouldn’t retaliate or at least not immediately, but I was wrong, dead wrong.
As I got outside Tayo was busy looking for something seriously teased him,
“guy you forget your brain for there, wey you dey find am?”
he just ignored me and kept searching, finally he found what he was looking for, a big long stick, and once I saw it, I understood sharply and ran into the house not waiting to find out what he wanted to do with the stick.
He chased me with the speed of light but I was a little bit faster, I ran straight to the room where Urch and Sandra slept for the night and locked the door as fast as I could, then started laughing at Tayo who was locked outside and still screaming with fury
“MIKE YOUR PAPA!!”
“hyn dey house”,I replied trying to frustrate him the more
then he said “You dey mad, You 4 die today I to say I catch you” ,
“tah!! Dem dey catch breeze?”
we exchanged lot of curses but at a point he got tired and I heard him leave, then I relaxed and turned to face the room, It was then I noticed a weird scene.
..Although Urch was still on the bed sleeping in an awkward position, with one of his leg in jamaica, the other in Ghana, his hand was under the pillow and…Never mind sha, I’m sure you get the idea….I looked around the room but couldn’t find Sandra nor her hand bag or any clue she was even here.
Different thoughts crossed my mind about her where about,
“shey this girl no follow us come house” I thought
“abi she be winch wey don disappear?”
“or maybe na me no dey see well”
I headed to the bathroom to rinse my face with water and came to check again,
I searched the whole room twice, looking for this girl but to no avail, I woke up Urch, but he didn’t have any idea of her where about.
I finally opened the door and went to ask Tayo who was sitting at the sitting room with the stick he wanted to break my head with on his lap, I ignored it and just asked him straight up,
“guy you know where Sandra dey?”
“Who be Sandra?” he inquired
“that babe wey we carry come house yester night”
“oh, na Sandra be her name?, nice name sha, errr she dey room nah”
“ode! If she dey room I go they ask you if you see am abi you blind wen I enter the room ni?”
“Guy go check well jhur, where she wan dey again nah, abi she don turn ghost?”
“oga, shebi na you wey sabi see road pass, oya come show me the babe for room nah”
“ok nah, but if I see am for there, I go burst your eye o”
I didn’t respond again, just watched him walk to the room then he came out and said
“oboi the girl no dey there tru tru oh”
“so na Latin I dey speak since? Abi no be wetin I tell you dat?”
at this point it was obvious Sandra was missing or was she playing a prank on us, we both starred at each other for a while not saying anything.
The silence was broken by a knock on the door
“kpo kpo kpo”…
We were both stunned by the sudden knock, but neither of us wanted to open the door, we just stood on the same spot.
Then there was a second knock
“kpo kpo kpo”
…this time I gathered courage and asked
“who is it?!”
not knowing who was knocking at the door by this time of the day, as a matter of fact we don’t have much visitors, talk less of Saturday afternoon where everywhere used to be dry.
So we patiently waited for a response… Not sure if we really wanted to know who was at the door.
TO BE CONTINUED.
PS: This story was one of my very first story and I agree its quite amateur, so kindly ignore the spacing, typos and grammatical errors.