“It’s me,” was the response we got
“who is ‘me’, or don’t you have a name?”
“Sorry, It mean it me, Sandra”
on hearing that we were both relived, and rushed to open the door for her.
Sandra entered with a nylon (or waterproof as my PH people would say, lol) but that wasn’t the issue at hand, so didn’t bother asking about the contents of the nylon, she had to first explain when she became a witch that can disappear and reappear at will.
We asked her the question and she just smiled and said,
you guys were sleeping like babies when I woke up since I didn’t want to leave you guys like that, I decided to go and buy something for you guys to eat”
at this point I was highly impressed,not realy because of she was thoughtful or nice but because the worms in my stomach would finally stop rioting.
We grabbed the nylon from her and found three big loaves of bread and enough akara to go round, we needed no babalawo to tell us how to share it.
While we were eating Urch finally decided to wake up and joined us in eating without even saying a word.
By the time we were done, I raised my head to thank Sandra, but as usual she had disappeared again, I wasn’t bothered this time tho, I had collected her number the night before and gotten her address too so the package was still onboard.
Time flew and night got to reach really fast.
I was on bed trying to sleep but thoughts of sandra started flowing in my mind ,of how much times we had spent and how nice she is,I just couldnt sleep so I decided to call her..
Unfortunately when I dialed the number I heard
“you do not have sufficient airtime to complete this call at the moment, please recharge and try again” ,or something like that.
I rolled and rolled on my bed,not being able to sleep and all I could think of was sandra, her hips, her super cute smile, and I even started having lustful thoughts of squeezing her Bottom while I banged her….. While I was just fantasizing all this ,I heard a voice in my head saying
“go and steal Tayo phone he might have credit”
but I shunned it because Tayo would kill me this time if I use his credit after what I had done to him in the morning, then the voice said
“go and steal Urch phone then”
this sounded nicer so I stood up as quietly as I could and tiptoed to his corner in the room and picked up his phone which he kept on the table by his bed.
I check his account balance and he had about #602 so without thinking twice I dialed Sandra number, it was about 2:46am, so I didn’t expect her to pick up, but I had to try if I was going to sleep that night at all.
My luck shined, she picked and said,
her voice sounded so nice on phone or maybe I was already into her so everything she said would sound nice to me…nevertheless replied,
“hi, its Michael”
,then I asked a silly question
“were you sleeping?” (What was I expecting?’NO I was counting beans’?”
She replied calmly…
“Yea, I was…any problem?”
“ermm, no, not at all…it’s just that I was trying to… (At this point I didn’t think it would be right to say my real reason for calling so I just changed the topic) Never mind, just wanted to say hi”
but I was kind of late, she had gotten the hint I wanted to say something so she insisted I spoke up, after much I opened up and said things that I didn’t believe I could say… I said,
“ok then ,if you insist… Sandra am in love with you, been trying to sleep for like 3hours now, and its not just working, you are all that’s in my head like a brain, cant just get you out of my mind..I know I met you barely 3days ago and its still early, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m not usually like this. How u make me feel is just unexplainable, ill have loved to tell you exactly how I feel but I cant find the right words, all I know is I love you…Sandra am crazy about you,..Sandra am this, Sandra am that” I kept on talking for like 20 mins expressing my love to this girl I met in a very awkward way..When I was done all she said was
“ok, I have heard”
“like seriously? , you have heard? Is that all you are going to say?”
“ermm, what do you want me to say na, I barely know you, all the times I’ve seen you, you don’t act like my kind of guy”
“hmm, ok what’s your kind of guy?” I asked ,I could feel my eyes getting watery, was I really going to cry over this girl?
then she replied “that don’t matter right now, all I can say is ,you and I cant work, we are both too different”
“but I guess that’s what relationships are about…finding that one person you love and appreciating your differences and also accepting it”
“I’m sorry Michael, but it can’t just happen”
I could read in btw the lines and from the texture of her voice, I sensed she was about to cry too or something like that…so I tried risking something… I asked her the $1,000,000 question…
“yea, am sorry mike, it can’t work?”
I ignored her and asked
“Sandra do you love me?”
there was a long silence, but then she replied
“ermm, Michael I…”
‘ermm, Michael I…I…don’t know really” she replied
“hmm, how come you don’t know how you feel?”
“I like you, I really do, but I don’t believe in love at 1st sight or things like that. People grow in love”
her reply made much sense but nevertheless I was so sure I loved her and need not grow in love..so I just replied
“ok, I get your point, so what what’s going to happen now?” I said after a quick thought
“ermm, I just need time, maybe you can give me a little time to think about it”
“alright, have all the time you want, I’ll be right here waiting for you” I replied smiling
“thanks, so tell me more about you anyway, you haven’t said much about your family”
“oh, well am from a family of three, my dad is… ” we talked for the rest of the night till like 4:30am when MTN alerted me that I have less than one minute it’s at that point I realized I had used Urch airtime to make night call, finished it and to make matter worse, his battery had one bar left.
Chai I was in trouble, but the deed had been done so I just dropped his phone back and tried sleeping, this time I slept like a baby, I even dreamt about I and Sandra, the dream involved a black suit,a white gown, two rings and a priest *winks*.
It was about 8:21am on Sunday when I started hearing a voice screaming my name in my dream, or at least that’s what I thought until a tap on my head brought me back to reality..
MICHAEL!!! ” Urch screamed my name…
“Wetin!?” I asked outta annoyance and my eyes still closed.
“na you wey use my credit for phone?”
And like an alert DING!! I recalled using all his airtime calling the love of my life, or at least that’s how I felt that time.
“guy no vex, I use am call my brother who okada jam yesterday” I replied, of course that was a lie
“oh, sorry I no know, how hyn dey now?”
“hin dey better now but still on admission”
“ok, sorry sha, but no use my stuffs like that next time, ask me first” he replied with sympathy
“alright thanks, I’ll try repaying back when I get money”
I just said that to make him feel good, but had no plans of repaying him.
“Ok oh, anyway chisom say make I tell you make you bath so we go fit go church, Tayo don dey dress already”
OH Bleep!!! Today na sunday?” I replied totally forgetting it was Sunday.
“No oh, na Friday ode, go bath jhur abi you no dey go?”
. You know that kind of Sunday when you wake up and just dont feel like going to church for no just reason so you blame it on not having ironed clothes or polished shoes? Well that’s how I felt so I simply replied
“I no dey go jhur, I no iron any better cloth and I get chronic headache”
“hmm, that one na your wahala, God dey watch you sha, we don they go, keep key for that usual place if you wan comot”
he replied and walked out of the room.
I screamed “pray for me oh!” ,not sure if he heard because I got no reply..
I heard continuous footsteps of and voices for about 10 mins before I heard a door close and absolute silence. I was officially home alone. Then an idea popped into my head so I picked up my phone and texted Sandra to come over, I got a reply almost immediately saying she’ll be at my lodge in 20mins.
On reading the text I broke a world speed record using just 5mins to bath and dress. Then I quickly swept the whole house and arranged it in about 4mins obviously breaking another record, just when I was about dropping the broom I heard a knock on the door, I naturally assumed it was Sandra so I literally flew to open the door, little did I know that I had assumed wrong.
So I opened the door and there they were two really funny looking people that could easily be mistaken for a clown or glo ambassador.
1 was a guy who wore a really big scary looking trouser that was black, yea ‘was’ because it had faded beyond dying self, calling the trousers ash, won’t be a bad idea ,he placed it on his stomach and to match was a suit….or better still, sorry ,I mean he wore a COAT ,very big coat, that kind of ‘my papa dash me’ coat..It was that big.
While the other was a female, I dont know if she was trying to colour block or simply had a wall drope malfunction. She wore an orange long straight skirt that reached her ankle, with a brown shoe that’s very similar to one I saw in a black and white picture of my great grand mum who was celebrating her 13yrs birthday then, and a light green shirt that had ‘GLO’ on the bosom pocket, while at the back “WE RULE YOUR WORLD” was boldly written.
After I had finally succeeded in suppressing the laughter that I was trying to hold I finally asked
“who are you?”
“We are from the HOLY GHOST FIRE JESUS THE SAVIOUR MINISTRY, INTL and we were sent by God to tell you the good news”
they were evangelists from one of those scary Port Harcourt churches with their scary names.
“ok, I’m sorry, but am very busy right now, so you can come back next week or better still never come back” I replied and slammed the door at them.
Normal I won’t have reacted that way but, Sandra was coming nah, what do you expect?
Barely a minute later…
TO BE CONTINUED