WELCOME TO LAGOS: A Bus Story

I promised you guys a couple of short stories right? Well here is the first instalment of a four chapters short stories which I’ve decided to title Welcome To Lagos. Read and drop your comments. Enjoy.

A BUS STORY

It was a perfect day for me, even the acclaimed unpredictable weather agreed with me on this as the sun wasn’t scorching hot and there wasn’t rain, not even a drop! This was quite unusual considering the fact that it had been raining consistently for over four days.

Usually, I used to sleep through the better half of the morning and wake up around 11am and then stager to the kitchen to fix breakfast but not today, today was a different day, a differently good day, or so I had thought.

I woke up by 7am and instead of going to the kitchen, I had gone to the bathroom to have my bath and in matter of minutes I zoomed out of the house without even saying a word to anyone at home.

My excitedness was for one reason, one good reason – I was on my way to Computer Village, Ikeja, to buy my very first BlackBerry phone – a Curve 2.

Before you start to laugh at how a “mere” Curve 2 made me so excited, may I add that this happened few years back, 2009 or 2010, not entirely sure but one thing was certain though, Blackberry Phones ruled the phone market and Curve 2 topped the charts back then.

Anyway, I used to stay at Ikotun so getting to Ikeja was easy. All I did was enter a N50 BRT bus which dropped me a short distance from the road where Affordables and Slot were – two big and credible names in the phone business.

I walked into Slot first and after a few minutes, I sadly walked out without the phone because they didn’t have the London used version of the phone. I walked into Affordables and this time the story was quite different as I was successful this time.

I left Computer Village almost immediately, feeling really good about myself and my awesome purchase. Instead of going home straight, I felt particularly generous so I called up my girlfriend… Well, she’s an ex now, and took her out to GDC on a splurge.

The outing was totally fun as I used to really like the girl’s company then, hearing her voice in the morning used to keep me smiling all day. I didn’t want to let her go just like that so I decided to take her home first before going to my house. Wrong move.

After a few pushing and biting, we successfully boarded a regular yellow bus heading Mile 2, she lived at Festac so the idea was that we’ll both drop at Mile 2 and while she heads to Festac, I’ll board another bus to Cele and then link it to Ikotun… If you know the streets of Lagos very well, you’ll know I was probably really foolish and perhaps mad to take such long and absurd route when I could just go through Mushin or even enter a straight Ikotun bus but I was in love and isn’t love a sort of madness?

While we were on the bus, my girlfriend and I were engaged in a rather interesting discussion based on the movie we just watched at GDC, she didn’t seem to like how the movie had ended while it was perfectly executed from my point of view.

However, the skinny dude who wore one of those My Money Grows Like Grass T-shirts and a faded blue jeans, by my side seemed determined to infect me with whatever sort of chronic virus he had as he coughed and coughed and coughed, rendering millions of bacteria homeless. It seemed like the more I tried to ignore him, the more he coughed, so I decided to suspend my conversation with my girlfriend so as to avoid a bacteria from jumping into my mouth. The annoying thing is the other occupants of the bus at that time felt a little sympathy for him and kept on telling the dude sorry after each round of coughs.

Finally, he got to his busstop and alighted from the bus, no one on earth was happier than me as I resumed my conversation with my girlfriend but sadly, we got to Mile 2 few minutes later and we both alighted, it was sad to think of her leaving just like that, so just to delay her imminent leaving a little longer, I suggested that we took a picture right there at the busstop and she reluctantly agreed.

To be frank, I also wanted to show off my new Curve 2 to her so I attempted to bring out the phone from my pocket but strangely it wasn’t there. I searched my front pockets, my back pockets and even my breast pockets. It was only then I realised what the “coughing-guy” had done. All his coughing was just a distraction as I came to the conclusion that my newly bought London used 32K Curve 2 was gone.

My legs couldn’t carry my body any more and I slumped to the floor with my hands on my head.

Welcome to Lagos.

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