Why I Want To Be Bad 5














You ever do something that seemed like a great idea at the time but later it’s like you are not so sure anymore?

It was one of those days when we had longer nights and shorter days. I knew this because it was just 7PM but the moon was already out, shinning in its full glory.

I starred at my friend from the bar in utter shock as the moon reflected on him and his two friends. They looked scarier under the moon light.

“What’s happening here?” Funmi asked with a confused look. I ignored her and spoke to the thugs at my front.

“No be wetin una think,” I replied the question I was asked a few seconds ago.

“My man talk say make you show but you come run comot. You no dey fear your father abi?” One of the thugs said in a husky tone.

“I no run comot. I been just wan put my cousin for okada make she dey go house,” I lied to save Funmi’s head. Once again I wasn’t proud of the cousin line.

“Wait oh…” Funmi said as she walked forward. “Who is your sister?” She asked foolishly. I felt like biting off her ears.

“Funmi, now isn’t a good time,” I replied calmly after deciding biting her ears was not going to do any good.

“What is happening here!?” She asked once again raising her voice as her face curved into a frown.

“Nothing is happening. Just take this and go home,” I said as I dipped my hands into my pocket and brought out a five hundred Naira note.

“She no dey comot here,” the third thug who hadn’t really said anything from the start finally voiced out. He had an aura of authority.

“This matter no concern the small girl, abeg make she dey go house so I go fit reason una wella.” I replied.

“Guy! The Barnie no dey comot here until you first do body well.” The thug I had met at the bar said, “where your phone self?” He asked.

“E dey my pocket.”

“Bring am make I see.”

I knew one thing was certain. If I gave him my phone, I may as well just run home and bring the charger because there was no way he was going to give me back the phone.

“Na just normal Nokia torchlight phone,” I lied once again. The lies seemed to be flowing with ease. I used a Sony Xperia.

“Fresh boy like you dey use Nokia torchlight? If I hear!” He replied with a confusing smirk on his face and moved nearer to me in an attempt to search my pocket. I swiftly moved back, avoiding his grip.

“Okay, I go shake body wella if una let me make one call.” I finally decided it was time to call for help.

“Who you wan call?” The thug who didn’t speak much asked.

“I wan my guy for house make him bring bar come.” I replied. They obviously wanted money and I had no plans of giving them one Kobo.

The thug seemed to consider my response for a second then he gave an inquiring look at his two friends who nodded in approval.

“Oya make your call sharperly.” He replied leaving me wondering what in heaven’s name “sharperly” meant.

I walked a short distance from the thugs and dialled number of the one person I knew could help in such situations. Henry. He picked up at the second ring.

“Guy, where you dey?” I asked immediately.

“I dey around, what’s up?”

“Abeg you fit come Kela hotel now now?”

“Wetin dey happen for that side?”

“Small wahala dey. Some Norsemen wan open shop for my head,” I replied

“Chai! I no go fit walka come under this rain oh,” he replied. It was just drizzling now but it looked like it could start raining heavily anytime soon.

“Guy abeg come follow this Baggas reason na. If na only me, you know say I no go call you but I dey with Funmi right now.” I explained nervously.

“Funmi? That chick wey just move into our lodge yesterday?”


“I no fit come that area right now bit no worry, I go call my boys for that marine make them go settle the wahala,” he replied.

“Thanks bro but abeg make dem dey fast…” I replied in a rather excited tone.

“No wahala,” he replied and hung up.

I re-joined the small crowd and informed them my friend from home was on his way with the money.

“No go fuck us up oh, because if you fuck me up, I go fuck you up.” One of the thugs threatened.

“Dem no born me well to fuck una up.” I replied.

“Correct. Make we go relax for that bar for that corner,” the thug with the aura of authority suggested, pointing at the bar. He moved without waiting for anybody’s confirmation.

Funmi and I sat on one table while the thugs sat on the table behind ours. They ordered a round of beer, I wondered if all they did all day was drink.

For the first time since I had met Funmi she was as quiet as a mice. She just sat in silence and stared at nothing in particular, she was obviously avoiding my gaze which only made me quiet confused as I needed her to look at me so I could figure out how exactly she felt. Angry, sad, disappointed or maybe all three.

“I’m sorry.” I said, trying to start a conversation and besides, I didn’t know what else to say. She ignored me.

“Funmi,” I attempted to say as I tried to place my palm on hers. She swiftly withdrew her palm from the table and kept it on somewhere else I had been dying to touch. Her laps. I sighed. I had a feeling this was going to be the last date, if you can still call it that.

“What exactly did I do wrong?” I asked ignorantly. I personally just wanted to know what part of all the recent events had really offended her.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” She glared. Her eyes pierced through my skin.

“Yes,” I replied looking confused

“If you don’t know what you did then forget it.” She replied.

“But Funmi, you…”

“I said forget it!” She yelled and I knew it was time to shut up.

I have been faced with all kinds of difficult situations with females in the past and I had always scaled through unharmed but they didn’t seem to be a way out this time.

I stopped trying to talk to her and waited in silence for Henry’s boys to show up. I just couldn’t wait for the day to end.



So you literally force a lady to go out on a date with you without really asking like a gentleman but she accepts anyway only for you to get to your destination and suddenly get other ideas which you refuse to inform tell her about. Men are just dim wits. They can be pealing your skin with a knife and ask you why you are bleeding.

There was no way I was ever going to go out with Maxwell again in my life, I resolved within myself as we waited for his so called friend to bring the money which he wanted to give to the thugs. I didn’t fully understand what was going on but I had no plans of asking Maxwell again. I just wanted him to get out my sight. I took a quick glance at him and wondered why I had found him so attractive in the first place.

Soon enough Maxwell’s phone started ringing and after a short conversation with the caller he left the bar briefly and came back with two guys cladded in red and black.

I naturally assumed they were his friends with the money. He spoke briefly with them and then pointed at the table where the thugs were already on their fourth round of beer. The two guys shook the hands of all three thugs in a strange hand gesture and then asked the thugs to follow them outside. Maxwell went with them.

Five minutes later, Maxwell reappeared and informed me that we could now go home. I was glad that it was all over and thoughts of my super comfy bed flooded my mind. I couldn’t care any less about what had happened in those five minutes, all I knew was that the thugs were gone and it seemed like only me noticed they didn’t pay for their drinks.

Maxwell led me to a red Toyota and told me it was going to be our ride home. The two guys on black and red both sat at the front seats of the car. Maxwell and I made ourselves comfortable at the back.

“We would just make one quick stop and then we would go home, we’ll need to pick up Henry, my roommate.” Maxwell said after we had been on the road for approximately ten minutes. I nodded in response.

We stopped shortly afterwards at the front of a building which was painted orange and lemon, for unknown reasons the gate was wide open so we could clearly see the full front view of the compound. The rain had at this point started to fall heavily once more.

The guy on the wheels brought out his phone and was about to call someone I believed to be Henry when a couple of strange events happened in quick succession like clockwork.

Firstly, two girls came down through one of the staircase and walked straight into the heavy down pour that showered all over. It looked like one of them was crying furiously while the other was trying to console her.

We all looked as this drama ensued right before our eyes for a short while before Maxwell muttered something that sounded a lot like “Mary-Anne” under his breath. He seemed to have just seen something that caught his interest. He stepped out of the car into the heavy rain which soaked him in seconds and walked swiftly to where the two girls were.

I could spot another guy approaching the scene with caution, I guessed he was Henry.

“What’s wrong babe?” Maxwell asked the crying girl as he wrapped his arms right around her.
She wailed louder as if she expected him to understand tears language… Whatever that means.

“Talk to me babe, please what’s wrong?” He asked with a sincere look of worry on his face. His hair sloped beautifully down his face as the rain poured with brutal force on him. He looked really attractive at this point and I found myself wondering why he kept on calling this lady in distress babe. I felt a little sting of jealousy.

The crying girl stopped crying and looked at Maxwell face for a short period and then back at Henry who was now at arm’s length. She snorted and suddenly broke free from Maxwell’s grasp, running out of the compound through the gate and down the main road.

What happened next is really difficult to describe. But I can tell you this, whatever happened, left her body on the floor. She was bleeding so badly that her entire clothing was soaked with so much blood it was difficult to spot exactly where the blood flowed from.

Just then, lightning struck and a loud ear deafening thunder sound followed from the skies. The rain stopped falling almost immediately.




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