Why I Want To Be Bad 30

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-30-

 

FUNMI

 

I was surprised at how good it tasted. This was actually the first time I had tasted Ayo’s food, that’s of course minus the regular Noodles and Spaghetti I expect everybody knows how to cook and I was impressed… Very much impressed.

 

She had cooked jollof rice and beans and I am sure that even the Ghanaian who always argued about which jollof is superior would have stopped such senseless argument if they had tasted as much as a spoon of Ayo’s miracle jollof.

 

We emptied the entire pot in a rush and I went on to start teasing her over her poor measurement. That was our first meal of the day and she had cooked just enough for us to have just one round each. If the food turned out to be less tasty, I would have teased her for cooking too much though.

 

Once the plates were washed and everything in the kitchen returned back to normal, the electricity distribution company decided to surprise us and supply us power. The scream of ‘up NEPA!’ Was so loud that I was sure even people on Mars must have heard. Less the generator supply, we had not as much as had our light bulbs blink even once for over two months I had been in the school so the ear deafening scream was expected.

 

I looked down at the street from my balcony and saw people dancing all over right there in the middle of the road. The last time I think Nigerians had been so excited was when the news of Sani Abacha’s deaths reached the masses. The funny thing about this whole situation is that the electricity distribution company always bring new bills every month, light or no light, this makes me wonder how they get the details they type on the bill.

 

In matters of seconds almost everybody in the lodge had switched on their home theatres and started jamming up. I could not exactly make out any song anyone was playing as the sounds all got mixed up so I locked my doors and windows to obstruct the noise from penetrating and that worked like magic.

 

I was not exactly left out of the excitement as I quickly ran into the room and slotted the best Korean movie I had in my into the CD player and just when I was about to sit down to watch the movie the worse happened; the power supply was cut off.

 

Thousands of hearts were broken. Even Ayo who I had expected to laugh at me was too heart broken to do that. I pinched my myself for even falling for the electricity distribution company cheap trick.

 

If it’s too good to believe then you are probably right.

 

Down and dejected, we both returned to the balcony to chill and Ayo starts rolling another blunt, I could not understand how the cannabis still remained. Once she was done rolling it, she lit it without second thoughts.

 

I stared at her keenly for a brief moment and was impressed at how delicately she handled the blunt, I even considered taking a drag but my subconscious kicked against such thoughts with immediate effect. My years of good home training was finally paying of.

 

She was so much engrossed in smoking the blunt that she totally ignored my presence so I went to the room and picked up my phone where I had plugged it for it to charge and took it to the balcony. I needed to keep myself company.

 

I went to my music player and started playing a rather slow song before going on to reply my Whatsapp messages and then a text message from my service provider led me to my inbox and that was when I was reminded of the text my dad had sent earlier.

 

“Let’s go to my house,” I suggested to Ayo. I had planned on disobeying my dad so I could have time to spend with Maxwell but I did not want that anymore so what was keeping me in school? I thought. Besides I had not exactly kept my deal of visiting home every weekend as I and dad had initially agreed.

 

“Which house?” She asked.

 

“My family house,” I replied. “The only thing we will end up doing if we stay here is waste money and food stuffs.”

 

She thought about it for a brief second, “If we go today, when would we come back?” She asked.

 

“Monday na… Besides, I hear Tunji is still around o,” I winked at her. Tunji was a guy she had history with, I’ll explain more on that another time.

 

She smiled and looked at her phone to check the time, “don’t you think it’s quite late to be going home now?”

 

“I know a short route that would take less than thirty minutes,” I replied, dad had made sure home was not so far away.

 

“Okay then, let’s do this. But I must finish my joint first, you can go and start packing.”

 

Having convinced her, packing was not so much of a big deal. Since I was going to just be away for a few days and I had more than enough clothes to wear at home all I really needed to pack was my laptop and a couple of handouts I had photocopied just in case I felt like reading.

 

Few minutes later she had finished smoking her blunt and we were out of the house not long after.

 

The road was very free surprisingly and we got to my door steps five minutes than I had anticipated.

 

My junior brother jumped on me immediately he opened the door. I almost fell in the process, the boy was just thirteen years old but had the weight of a thirty years old man. How he grew that fast in just few weeks was something I could not decipher.

 

“Ah! Sister Ayo you are welcome o, do you go to the same school with my sister?” He asked Ayo who I noticed had purposely kept my brother, Greg, at arms length so he wouldn’t be able to jump on her as well.

 

“I don’t Greg, well, not yet though. How are you na?” She replied.

 

“I’m fine, hope you bought something for me?” He asked.

 

“I sure did! But I will only give it to you tomorrow because I want to make sure you are still the good boy I used to know,” She lied. A rather good lie, don’t you think?

 

“Where is daddy and mummy?” I asked.

 

“Daddy is not yet back from work and mummy is still at the shop.”

 

“So you are the only one in the house?”

 

“No o, my friend is in the parlour,” he said excitedly.

 

It was only then I realised we had been standing at the door all this while.

 

I led the way into the house and bolted it. The parlour was of course the first place we walked into and that was when we saw Greg’s friend.

 

“Good evening,”  said the girl who did not look so much like Greg’s age mate, her big boobs was evidence of that, a quick glance at her and I noticed she even had bigger boobs than me.

 

I looked at Greg and then at Ayo, she smiled at me and I figured she was probably thinking what I was thinking.

 

It was almost 7pm and my junior brother of thirteen was all alone with such a busty in the house.

 

He definitely had some serious explanation to do.

 

***

 

MAXWELL

 

Henry never used to be one to talk about girls and issues related to them until he met Tonia. The girl seemed to have brainwashed my guy to the point where almost everything he had to say was about her and this was starting to piss me off because I had my own issues I needed to think about.

 

“But Tonia sabi vex for nothing oh,” he lamented to me.

 

“Dude, you told her to her face that she’s a broke ass, how did you think she would react to that?” I asked looking uninterested as we sat at the back seat of a cab taking us home.

 

“But I been no actually mean am na, na just vex wey I been dey vex.”

 

“Sorry. Next time try to control your tongue when you are vexed,” I advised.

 

“But nawa for the babe o, why she no wan pick my call na?”

 

“Give her a little time, call tomorrow.”

 

“Time to do wetin na?”

 

Somebody should please shoot me already, I thought.

 

“Guy leave this girl gist first. I get small issue wey I know say you go fit help me with,” I said changing the topic.

 

“Wetin be that?”

 

“Some boys been obtain me this afternoon,” I complained.

 

“At your old age dem still dey obtain you? Nawa for you oh, abi you no get mouth to follow dem talk?”

 

“Guy, dem be no even allow me talk anything and dem plenty,” I explained.

 

“Wetin dem collect?”

 

“Na just my phone o,” I replied and then went on to give him a well detailed story of how it all happened including a perfect description of the guy in particular who snatched my phone.

 

When I was done, he was very pissed as it seemed like he knew the exact guy that snatched my phone. He brought out his phone and made a call.

 

“Souja Boy, you get mind collect my last born phone?” I heard him say over the phone. There was a brief silence as he listened to what the person at the other end of the line had to say.

 

“If dem born you well, no bring that phone come my house this night,” he said and hung up.

 

“All this small small boys go just dey  do anyhow,” he said to me referring to Souja Boy, “no worry my guy, the bastard go bring your phone come this night,” he added.

 

“Rugged you,” I said as I anchored him. I was really starting to consider bagging up. Bagging up is a phrase which means joining a frat.

 

The rest of the trip home was less adventurous. We got home about ten minutes later and after settling the bills we walked into the compound.

 

A thought crossed my mind as we climbed to Funmi’s floor. It seemed like a good time to talk to her about what had transpired earlier in the day but after banging at her door for what felt like hours and getting no response, I gathered she was not at home and gave up.

 

By the time I got up stairs Henry was already at the balcony smoking a joint. I was already smoking too much so I didn’t join him but rather went for my remaining bottle of vodka and joined him at the balcony.

 

“This one wey you don come up now now, e be like say the babe no dey?” He asked me.

 

“I guess so.”

 

“What’s up with the two of you sef?  The package don click?” He asked. He was trying to ask if I and Funmi were officially an item.

 

“Nah, far from that actually. She been catch me dey kiss Mary-Anne this afternoon?”

 

“You are back with that bitch?” He asked looking all surprised.

 

“God forbid, e get as the story be, I said.

 

“I been think say na my matter bad pass o,” he said laughing.

 

“I been just dey look you when you dey complain about Tonia matter. You wey never see anything.”

 

“Well, you na baddo na,” he said and I was about to deny his accusation when a bang at the door stopped me.

 

It was about 12am, who could be knocking at the door by this ungodly hour?

 

I went to look through the peep hole and was surprised by who I saw.

 

“It’s Amaka,” I said to Henry.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

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5 thoughts on “Why I Want To Be Bad 30

  1. Jerry

    great work Chistar I truly love n enjoy ur work am feel very anxious to see d rest so kindly add me up via my WhatsApp #:07035082636.keep it up bro

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