Still in shock, laying down on the bed and staring into space, uncle Sam said,”Meso, stand up now and go and clean yourself or do you want me to wash up for you?”
I didn’t say a word, I only stood up, picked up my clothes and went straight into his bathroom to clean up. When I got in, I stood right under the shower and let the water pour down on me. I didn’t even move for a while or realize when tears started running down from my eyes. I felt very unclean. I felt like a wasted good. I didn’t know much about sex or virginity but I knew that as a Christian, everything that happened was all wrong. I wasn’t supposed to have sex at this age, let alone with my uncle. I was supposed to wait for the right time. “Keep yourself for your husband,” my mum had said to me one time. My mind couldn’t stop processing a lot of things at once. What just happened? What will I do? Who will I run to? I kept asking myself those questions while crying. When I was done having my bath, I stepped out of the shower, dried myself up and put on my clothes uncle Sam had almost torn while trying to get me naked. I was in so much pain I couldn’t even walk well. Apart from the fact that I had just been raped, I had body pains from his tight grip and weight that rested on me while he raped me. I got out of the bathroom, looking around to see if he was somewhere in the room but he wasn’t. He had also changed the bedsheets and arranged the room leaving it looking as innocent as it is a lie. On my way to my room for the night, I stopped by the sitting room to check for uncle Sam or Esther. I sighted Esther still engrossed in the cartoon she was watching and uncle Sam busy with his phone. I didn’t want them to notice my presence so I walked quietly to the room. I guess that didn’t work because immediately after I shut the door, I heard footsteps coming from the sitting room and I was so sure it was uncle Sam. I ignored it anyway and got in bed to continue sulking when I saw the door open and uncle Sam walked in, shutting the door behind him.
“Meso!!! Meso!!!” he said as he walked to the side of the bed where I laid and went on his knees.
I didn’t want to see him and so I turned the other way, my back facing him.
“Meso, I know you’re angry with me and I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to call my action. I’m very sorry Meso. It’s just because I love you. I can’t stay away from you too long. I needed you at that moment, if not, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Meso, please forgive me, I know I shouldn’t have forced you but I don’t know what came over me. I love you, baby. I really do. You know you’re the only one that has my heart. Please! Meso forgive me. Please let’s keep it a secret. Let it just be between us. I know you love me too,” uncle Sam said.
I just couldn’t face him after what had happened because I was scared of him. I wanted to recover and possibly just wake up from a dream like the one I had of him the other time. If only I knew that the dream was trying to tell me something, I wouldn’t have pushed it aside. The funny thing was even with what uncle Sam did to me, there was no hatred in my heart for him. I didn’t even dislike him which was strange but I was definitely scared.
Uncle Sam’s pov
I knew Meso would be so scared of me. I knew she wouldn’t want to look me in the eyes again but I needed her forgiveness. I really loved Meso and I didn’t want the relationship we had to destroy because of my action. Her back still facing me, I kept on begging her hoping she would just turn to face me even if it was just for a minute. I actually felt really bad for doing what I did but I couldn’t take it back. I don’t know why Meso had just been all up in my head for a while now. I mean I had had affairs with other women that were more mature, wife material and all of those package as they call it but something kept on pulling me closer to Meso. Trust me, I knew it was all wrong but I couldn’t figure out what was happening to me.
“Uncle, why me?” Meso said as she finally turned to face me, still not looking into my eyes.
“Meso, like I said, I don’t know what came over me but I really love you. I’m sure you know that. Please, Meso, forgive me,” I replied hoping she would say something else but she just turned her back on me without saying a word. I sighed, standing up and said, “Thank you” before leaving the room. I had a feeling Meso had forgiven me but I still felt bad.
The next day, I had to take Meso and Esther back home before noon and so I got them ready by ten o’clock in the morning and drove them home. Meso wasn’t still in a bright mood but I didn’t want to push it so I didn’t say a word to her while we were in the car. We just drove off in silence. When we got to the house, I greeted my brother and his wife before saying my goodbye. Before I left, I glanced at Meso one last time who also glanced at me before I got into my car and drove off.
Later that day, my mum took me to the market to buy the remaining items I needed as a boarder. I didn’t even say a word about what happened between me and uncle Sam. I just kept looking and acting like a dummy because my expression only showed forth sadness. I was able to walk better than I could before from all the pain, so I managed to endure and pretend like I was okay in front of my mum. She noticed I was sad but she only thought it was because I was going to the boarding house and so she consoled me for the wrong reason. I tried my best to cheer up and forget it. I didn’t know why I couldn’t tell because uncle Sam didn’t even threaten me or something, he only begged. It hurt me that I wasn’t even angry with him. Usually, when I hear of other people’s rape incident or movies on rape incidents, I see how bitter and angry the victims are. They spit and throw curses on their abusers but I wasn’t in that state. I couldn’t understand my situation. I could only feel hurt in silence.
The next day, after church, I took my meal and slept for about an hour before I was being woken up by Esther who said I was being called by our parents. My parents called me into the sitting room, sat me down and gave me lectures on you know what. They told me to always be focused, be prayerful, face my studies and all of that in which I paid attention. They even concluded that they knew I was sad about leaving for the hostel but It was for the best and all of that. I just kept on nodding and a few minutes later, we were done talking. After about an hour more, I packed my luggage into the trunk of the car and we drove straight to the hostel with my parents seated at the front and my sister, beside me in the car. I took it upon myself to forget about all that happened between me and uncle Sam since it had already occured and vowed to keep it a secret.
To be continued