CONFUSED

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Strapped heels, lacy corsets, g-strings, nude bras and perfumed bodies, all part of what was going to be the embodiment of the clubs tonight. Tara looked at her face in the mirror over and over again as she tried to figure out if the dark blue mascara and blush hid the shadow in her eyes. Her brown lipstick made her already pouty lips more defined and lustrous. She pictured the men staring in a mixture of awe and hormonal urges. Of course they would! She checked her purse for ids, cash, car keys and condoms. She sprayed one last splash of perfume when her phone rang.

“Hello…”

“Tara… why haven’t you been picking my calls?”

“Long time no talk to you too Ishaya.”

“Well it wouldn’t be so if you picked up my calls”

“I don’t have time for this…”

“Are you at home? Am coming over…”

“You don’t wanna do that…”

“You are at home aren’t you?”

“Don’t come over…”

The line went dead. She held up her hands in anger. Quickly fumbling her phone and perfume into her purse, she turned off the lights and ran out of her apartment.

“Me definitely not at home tonight” she said as she locked her door.

Her heart beat in cold denseness as she pulled out into the highway, swearing and muttering under her breath: “Men, you give them a centimeter and they want to go the whole ten yards.” She felt very pent up at the red lights. It was a two four-way intersection with cars streaming seamlessly into the night. She pictured him driving down to her apartment in a hurry, hoping to find her there. She smiled to herself; he’d definitely not want anything to do with her after tonight. The thought of that gave her a surreal sense of satisfaction, more like an eagle after feeding its children a fat slab of snake corpse. She delighted at her freedom of emancipation. It definitely had been a while. She felt so choked and boxed up under him. “Tara go here… Tara do this… Tara NO!” Who the hell did he think he was?

She smiled as she pulled up into the parking lot across form posh nightclub. The line was long. She stood there basking in the October fall wind as it brushed against her face. Her jet-black hair swayed along. Ten minutes of this made her walk to the front and pay to skip the line. The bouncer at the door smiled at her. A sign of good luck, she regarded. When she entered, her heart melted away. She headed straight for the bar and got a strawberry martini, a starter to get the night going. As she sipped on and stared around the bar, she spotted the man she wanted to take home. He was tall and dark. Not so handsome or easy on the eyes. His facial features were prominent, especially his mouth. She didn’t mind. He was good enough. A quick glance at him, another longer shy glance and then a slight turn in his direction with her eye on him as she drank, and he was heading her way. She quickly garbled the last of the martini down her throat and made her way to the dance floor. The man target followed suit.

She began to sway her hips and move her feet to the rhythm. He followed her hip movement and quietly grabbed her around the waist. She was surprised but pleased. She thought it would take longer. As the music continued, they danced longer and closer to each other, until finally he asked her name:

“Naomi…” she replied

“OP” he replied. She was pleased. He obviously knew what he was doing.

Dancing moved into grinding as she moved harder on him and he held her tighter. He had begun nibbling her ear. She turned to face him and whispered into his ear to go out. She lead, he followed suit. When they were outside, she asked if he brought a car. He said no. She smiled. They took her car. As she drove, they could not keep their hands of each other, thighs, and arms and all. She pulled out a cigarette. He lighted it for her. She drew and poofed.

“Benson and hedges I see” he said to her. She passed it onto him. He took a long draw.

When they pulled up to her driveway, Ishaya’s car was parked across the street. Her parlor lights were on. He was in there and she knew that. She began kissing OP at the door as they walked in. Ishaya stood in across from them as they entered. Op stopped when he noticed Ishaya. She continued. On sensing Ishaya, she tuned around to him. He had murder in his eyes.

“Yooo meeehhhnnnn I didn’t know she had a man…” OP started. He didn’t want to be shot tonight.

“You should have asked before you followed a woman home.” On that, OP turned around and left. Tara simply locked the door after him.

“Couldn’t you have just told me it wasn’t working instead of bringing another man home.” She started clapping her hands in delight

“Bingo you are catching up… guess the phone call trick didn’t work so well now did it?”

“Tara what have I done to deserve this?” his eyes went dark in anger and resentment and shame boiling though his loins.

“You want too much Ishaya… you want too much…”

“But isn’t that what everyone wants? A family? Is that too much to ask the woman I love?” she stared at him in disgust: “Well not this person here” she retorted back.

He started away from her and headed towards the door. He dropped a key on the floor as he went past her: “Here are your apartment keys. You will never hear from me again.”

She locked the door after him and said “thankyou…” when she was alone.

She turned around and stared into the room. All the frustration suddenly came rushing back. She tried to fight it, but her cold heart could not fight back. She broke down and began to sob violently.

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