Why I Want To Be Bad 21

-21-

HENRY

See no see, tell no tell for the eyes that see today may not see tomorrow.

*

Amaka stared blankly into space as her hands vibrated uncontrollably. I understood what was going on with her so I was not really worried about that, I figured she would get over it in a few days or weeks top.

I had walked out of the room after I handed the machete to the executioner and went to the car to wait for my boys to finish what I had started. They were fully aware of what they had to do so I was not really bothered.

They had made sure Amaka left the scene with them and passed the emergency exit at the back of the hotel to avoid being seen by anyone at the front.

There was a pair of new clothes for everyone at the car, including Amaka, because blood is something that splashes easily from the body, especially when a cutlass is used.

“Don’t worry Amaka, I’m sure Agbaya won’t be a problem anymore to anyone again,” I finally said to Amaka, I had been very quiet lately. She looked at me to indicate she heard me but then turned her face back to the window, looking outside as we drove. She had been in that position for over ten minutes and I was starting to get worried. I felt the need to explain to her.

“Agbaya deserved what he got,” I started to say, “he has been on our radar for quite some time and we had warned him but the bastard could not just leave his dick in his pants.”

My explanation was welcomed with total silence.

“If it’s the police you are worried of, don’t worry, we cleared all our tracks. Naija police is not yet technologically advanced to check for finger prints and we convinced the receptionist and the security guards into believing Agbaya went to the room all alone,” I explained further. Again, I got silence in response.

At this point I decided to stop talking.

We got to her place few minutes later and dropped her off then we drove to a bar. After what just went down, we all needed a drink, or a couple of drinks.

The bar was a rather famous bar around Yaba-Tech, Cortiz bar was what it was called. People often joked that the name Cortiz was only chosen because it sounded like ‘cultist’ and this was because cultists were known to spend hours at the bar daily, drinking, gyrating and basically doing ‘other’ stuffs.

As I walked into the bar, everyone became quiet as it was expected that when someone of my calibre entered such settings everyone was to acknowledge my presence. The foot soldiers who were known to gather at the bar were the first to approach me.

“Aro Boogie Smallz! Rugged you!” One of them ‘capped’ out loud as he came over to anchor me. Anchor is just what we call our coded mode of hand shake.

Few of the others came over and basically repeated what the first one had done, anchoring me.

I approached a table and the former occupants immediately stood up and cleared it as I, Skinny T and the other two guys took our seat round the table.

“Madam Rose!” I yelled out loud for the owner of the bar. I used to be a regular at her bar some years back but stopped as things changed. So that explains why I knew her name.

“Boogie, how far na? You just forget us like that,” she said smiling as she came over to my table.

“Madam Rose, you wan start this evening. I no get your power abeg,” I replied.

“Na your way na,” she replied still smiling.

“Madam, I wan drink major today oh.”

“That one no be problem na, wetin you wan drink?” She asked, rather excitedly.

“The usual na. You get pepper soup shey?”

“E get the time wey you don find pepper soup come here wey I no get?” She teased.

“Things fit don change na,” I replied, “bring two bottles of star and one plate of pepper soup for me then give my boys dem anything wey dem want!” I declared. The boys went haywire with their praises as soon as they heard this.

“Rugged you!” Skinny T said as he anchored me. He sat closest to me.

Skinny T was a dark guy of around twenty-three years of age. He had spent a few years in prison but came eventually out, SARS things. He usually wore one of those armless top designed to promote an event or something of such nature with boot cut jeans to match. His black Ray Ban shades was always there to cover his eyes… The glasses were original though. He was known for ‘obtaining’ wristwatches. His only flaw. But apart from all these, he was brutal.

My bottles of star and the pepper soup came shortly afterwards before every other table in the bar got filled up too. At a point I started to think if I had made a wrong decision because the bill was not looking pocket friendly but the voice of Skinny T cut my thoughts short.

“Wida your control na?” He asked.

“Which control?” I asked in response, not quite sure what he was talking about.

“That fat barney na, Favour, abi wetin be that her name sef?” He asked.

I thought about this for a while, thinking of which Favour I knew that was fat and then it hit me… “Oh! You mean Faith?” I asked as I laughed.

“Enhen, na Faith be her name. You don knack am shey?”

“No o, no be my type,” I replied.

Faith had been one fat chick we both went to visit some weeks back. She was a Veron Queen. Veron Queen is what we call our female counterparts. The only time I had ‘knacked’ her was during her initiation and that was customary so I figured that did not count.

“Your own better o, you dey select p.ussy. Me, I never even seen woman pant not to talk of fuck for like one week now, my body dey do me like say my sperm go soon freeze,” he said and I bursted out loud into a laughter frenzy. That was the sickest thing I had heard all day.

“T, na you dey jonze na,” I replied when I had collected myself, “if you really wan fu.ck, you go fu.ck.” I was sure he understood what exactly I was talking about.

Anyway, we drank deep into the night until I decided it was time for me to go home.

I left the boys at the bar after I settled the bill which was surprisingly not even up to ten thousand naira and boarded a cab straight home.

Today had been quiet eventful and I would have loved to stay with my ‘people’ to gist and laugh over it but I needed to sleep.

***

MAXWELL

I got home from Mary-Anne’s place all pissed. Actually, I was not even pissed, but disappointed. Disappointed about a lot of things.

Firstly, disappointed in Mary-Anne for opening her legs so easily. I am not totally against her screwing other guys, without me knowing or giving a fuck of course, but she just had to screw the one person I actually gave a fuck about.

Secondly, I was disappointed in myself for not figuring it out sooner. I mean, the signs were all there! She did not call me as often as she used to. Henry taking her accident matter so personal as far as going ahead to pay the bills was also a sign. I had dated quite a significant amount of girls and Henry had never even offered any of my girls the least water but suddenly he was settling the hospital bill that was clearly over ten thousand naira.

Most importantly, I was disappointed at Henry. When you live with someone for so long, you expect certain things from them and don’t expect certain things. You develop a certain shelter of trust in which you both stay in. We did not exactly have a conversation where we talked about not fucking one another’s girl except where authorized, but I did not think I needed to state the rule out loud. Henry had broken this rule, he had broken the trust and thus disregarded our code, the sacred bro’s code.

I had zeroed Mary-Anne out of my mind, she was literally dead to me and although I wished it was that easy to do the same to Henry, I was not. I needed to hear his part of the story.

I had gotten home around 10pm and decided to stay awake, waiting for Henry to come home, but after one hour of waiting and not seeing him, I decided to just go to be. I had a 7am lecture that I could not afford to miss… Hec! I am the course rep of my department! I can’t afford to miss any lecture.

The sweet aroma of cannabis, however, woke me up later on in the night. A look at the digital wall clock told me I had slept for four hours and with that I knew Henry was back. He had his own keys to the house so I was not bothered about how he had gotten in.

I felt the need to just close my eyes and go back to bed, leaving the matter that I could not get out of my head for some other time since I really needed the sleep but like I said, I could not get the matter out of my head.

I stood up from the bed grumbling to myself as I walked straight to the balcony. My boxer shorts, the only piece of clothing on my body, hung loosely round my waist.

Just as I had expected, Henry was at the balcony. His Beats headset was tightly fitted on his ears so he did not hear when I walked into the balcony and sat on one of the two empty seats.

“Nigga, how far,” I tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey! My Max! E don tay wey I see you last o,” he replied as he disconnected his headset from the phone. Pepenazi’s song, Illegal, was playing. It was one of my favourite songs at the moment.

“We no see this morning?” I asked as I clearly recalled we had both been at Funmi’s room earlier this morning, all scared over the police arresting us.

“Oh! That’s true. It sure doesn’t feel that way though.”

“I been see Tonia for school today oh,” I lied in an attempt to change the topic to one I could work with. I needed to find a way to bring up the matter that had been on my mind for a while.

He tapped his head as he seemed to have just remembered something, “I been suppose call the girl o, bit I forget,” he said. “She been look hot shey?” He asked grinning mischievously.

“Sure thing na,” I replied. “Err… Henry, I wan make we talk about something o,” I said as I noticed I had set the right mood.

“Wetin be that my man?” He asked as he took a rather long drag from his joint.

“What’s up between you and Mary-Anne!” I asked straight up. I figured we were both guys and there’s was really no need to beat around the bush due to our straight forward nature.

He took another drag before he replied me, “as in how?” His face showed no emotions, it had always been impossible to read Henry.

“Okay, make I rephrase. Is there anything going on between you and Mary-Anne that you think I should know?”

As I asked, I hoped he would not lie or further delay the question. At least that way, maybe I might be able to still trust him.

He was quiet for a long while. He seemed more interested in his joint than in the conversation I was trying to have with him as he took over ten drags before he finally asked, “You really wan know?”

“Tell me,” I replied.

“Alright then,” he said and took one long drag. “I fucked your bitch and I know how this sounds but it wasn’t exactly intentional. No vex.” He was so calm as he said this.

Normally one would expect I got really angry and engage him in a fight due to how he had opened up but that is not me. I had known Henry for years. I knew everything there was to know about him and obviously we had had lots of fights in the past but this was not just enough reason to pick a fight.

There was no way I was going to stoop so low as to fight any guy over a girl. Fact!

The fact that I could not fight and chose not to argue or get pissed out loud does not necessarily mean I was happy with all this and the thought of running his head over with a tractor did not cross my mind.

I decided it was best to just let it all go since it was all history and Henry had been truthful to me.

For the first time I took note of my environment. I was around 2am in the morning. The moon was nowhere to be found but the stars were doing a good job with lightening up the earth. The breeze flow was so soothing and everywhere seemed so peaceful. Only one thing seemed to be amiss.

I dragged the tray of weed, picked up the rizla and swiftly tapped a joint. I was surprised at how beautiful the joint looked as it had been a while I rolled.

I lit it up and leaned my back on the seat.

“So did you tits fu.ck her?” I asked.

TO BE CONTINUED

Why I Want To Be Bad 20

-20-

 

MAXWELL

 

Women with great boobs always think they can get away with anything as long as they know how to use it to spin men heads but that is not always the case.

 

Unlike most guys, I am immune to most of all these silly tricks females try on un-expecting guys and can even boast of turning down any girl advances at will… Well, almost any girl.

 

Mary-Anne was clearly not aware of this as she attempted to use sex to buy her way out of the pending question she knew I was definitely going to ask.

 

I played along for a while and I admit that I might have gone a little too far as I pulled her top and rendered her half naked but hey! Don’t judge me, I got carried away in the act. The softness of Mary-Anne’s lips had brought back old memories.

 

The Mary-Anne I had known a few weeks back used to be very shy. She used to cover her face with her palm anytime I complimented her and teased her about her pointed nose. We had to date for about two weeks before I finally got to taste the forbidden fruit and to be frank with you, I literally had to manipulate her into doing it with me. But fast forward to just few weeks later and she had learnt how to remove belts with not-human speed and was already attempting to pull of my trouser when I finally snapped back to reality.

 

“Babe slow down,” I had forced myself to say when in reality all I wanted was to slide into her.

 

She ignored me and pushed even harder so I had to raise my voice at her before she finally understood I was serious.

 

“Did I do something wrong?” She looked almost sincerely confused but I knew better.

 

“Yes, you did,” I replied, “what’s going on between you and Henry?”

 

She stared blankly at me as if I had just spoken in French and I was about to ask the question again when she finally spoke. “Are you freaking kidding me!?” She spat.

 

“Do I sound like I am joking here?” I asked totally unfazed by her tone.

 

“You had to wait till I was naked before you ask me such disgusting question?” She stood up from the bed and grabbed her top, putting it on in one quick movement. She folded sat on the table at the edge of her room.

 

“The question is pretty straight forward Anne,” I said, “the funny thing though is the more you avoid the question, the more you make me think there’s something going on that I’m not aware of.”

 

“What do you think is going on between me and Henry?” She asked, “What can possibly go on between the both of us?”

 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking.”

 

“Maxwell, I don’t understand you anymore, if you are tired of me just tell me and stop trying to pick a fight with me!” She fired.

 

That was surprising reply. “The only person trying to start a fight here is you!” I thundered, “I only asked a question.”

 

“Which kind of dirty question is that? I know exactly what you are trying to say here and I refuse to play this game with you!” She returned.

 

At this point I had gotten all the answer I needed because I’m good at studying people. I put them in different situations and study how they react so when I need to get information from them, I know exactly how to get it and Mary-Anne had just given a lot more info than she had intended. I was devastated at this discovery but I refused to believe, I just had to confirm.

 

“Anne, I don’t want to argue with you over this matter,” I said. I decided to try another approach.

 

“Then don’t!” Her pitch was still on the higher side.

 

“Do you still love me?”

 

She was quiet for a bit, “yes, Maxwell, I still love you and I used to know you felt the same way back then but your attitude this evening has made me to start doubting that.”

 

“I’m sorry babe if that how I made you really do love you that’s why I am acting this way,” I said as I walked up to her and knelt on one knee before her. “Please, don’t make me look very foolish, tell me what’s going on here.” I looked up at her face from down below where I knelt as I said those words.

 

She unfolded her hands and pulled me up with them, she looked at me straight in the eyeballs in totally silence and after what felt like ages she finally bulged.

 

“Do you really what to know?” She asked.

 

“Yes baby, I do. I promise I won’t get mad at you, I just don’t like the fact that I look so foolish,” I urged her.

 

“You promise you would not get mad at me or even Henry?” She asked.

 

“You have my word.”

 

“Okay then, we need to sit for this,” she replied as she pulled me to the bed as we sat side by side.

 

“So baby, what is going on here?” I asked as I noticed she was losing her nerves.

 

You know how we at times ask questions we already know the answer to but out of disbelieve we still go ahead and ask? When the answer finally comes, it’s still hurts as much as you are only just finding out.

 

“I and Henry had sex once.” She said plainly, “I swear it was not intentional, and there’s nothing else going on between us!” She added, this time with a little more emotion.

 

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind on hearing this. I stared blankly at Mary-Anne, I was not quite sure of how I was supposed to react to such news, if I should be angry or sad. If Henry had screwed Amaka, my other girlfriend, that might have been more acceptable but I did not expect him to even come close to Mary-Anne, I did not expect Mary-Anne to let him touch her. I did not expect any of all this!

 

“Max, I’m sorry! I swear it would never happen again,” she promised.

 

“How did it happen? When did it happen?” I asked the questions simultaneously.

 

“Does that really matter right now?” She asked.

 

“Woman! Would you answer my f.ucking question?” I yelled, I was sure the neighbours mush have heard me.

 

She shrieked, “You promised you won’t get mad,” she reminded me, looking rather scared.

 

“Tell me how it happened,” I toned down my tune.

 

She was a bit reluctant but then went on to tell me the story of how a friend of her had died and Maxwell had come to her place to comfort her. Basically you know how they say a shoulder to cry on can easily become a d.ick to ride on? That’s exactly what happened.

 

That left one more question unanswered. “When did all this happen?” I was a bit calm now and not exactly mad at Mary-Anne anymore as I understood she used to be kind of naïve, but Henry and I were going to have a deep conversation.

 

“Few days before you and I first did it?” She replied and this totally changed my mood.

 

“You screwed Henry before we even got to do it?” I asked, I could not believe my ears.

 

“It’s not like I planned it or something,” she said, her eyes were starting to glitter as tears were formed.

 

“You made me think you were an innocent girl whereas you were a whore all along?” I asked, pulling my palm away from hers and standing up.

 

“I’m not a whore!” She yelled, “It was a mistake, I swear,” the first drop of tear flowed freely down her cheek and I watched as it dropped on the floor and splashed into several tiny molecules.

 

“How do you explain you act then? You slept with my roommate who does not even give a flying f.uck about you and then you tell me you are not a whore?” I rose my hand and waved it at her, “I can’t do this anymore! The mere sight of you disgusts me!”

 

I walked out of her room and slammed the door right behind me. I could hear her wail grow louder as I climbed down the staircase but I did not care anymore.

 

As far as I knew, that was the last time I was going to ever see her.

 

***

 

FUNMI

 

I was just about having breakfast when my phone started ringing. Ayo was nice enough to help pass the phone to me so I did not need to leave my appetising breakfast of toast bread and tea to go pick up phone from the wall socket where it was charging.

 

It had been a while anyone had called me on phone so I was a glad and a bit anxious to see who it was but a glance at the screen and the glad part was out of the picture, it was dad. I took a deep breath before I picked up the call.

 

“Good morning dad,” I flatly said.

 

“Morning Funmi, how are you?” he asked.

 

“Daddy I am fine.”

 

“How is school, I heard that some people are rioting in your school. I hope you are not among them oh?” I could spot the Yoruba accent western education had tried to almost wipe off from his tone.

 

I was a bit surprised about this, I had not heard about any riot since but then again that was probably because I had not been going to school much recently.

 

“No dad, I am not among,” I replied even though I was very sure he knew riot was not my kind of thing.

 

“I heard it’s over the sudden increment of your school fees, hope it would not affect us that have paid the former price earlier?” Dad was well to do so I knew that the school fees was not going to be a problem and so he was just calling to check on his me, his little princess, but just had to act like he had other things in mind. I decided to just engage him.

 

“I don’t think so. Besides the riot might just yield the requested results and the school fees be reduced back to normal,” I replied.

 

“Okay oh, if you say so. Keep me posted on the matter.”

 

“No problem dad.”

 

“You remember our agreement where you are supposed to come home every weekend, right?”

 

“Yes dad, I’ll come tomorrow,” I replied. It was Friday and frankly I had totally forgotten about the plan but I had been in school for just one week as so much drama had went down, I needed a break that I could get only by going home.

 

“Okay na, call me if you need anything,” he replied and hung up.

 

This call made me think a bit about my stay at school so far. I am probably the most unserious student in my department. I just gained admission and only just resumed but could count the amount of lectures I had attended on one hand. It is not like I always missed classes intentionally but well, let’s just say life has been happening

 

I knew if I did not go to school I would not have the basic knowledge required to pass my examinations so with that mind set I started preparing for school immediately I was done with the breakfast.

 

By exactly 9am, I was at school, just in time for the ECO 102 lecture and guess what? Ayo had decided staying at home all alone was going to be boring for her so she tagged along. We sat somewhere in the middle of the class as I hated sitting at the front and I knew the people at the back would not let me concentrate.

 

“Who can define Elasticity of Demand?” the lecturer had asked. We had done Demand and Supply in secondary school so I was a bit surprised to meet the topic here in the higher institution but that did not stop me from raising my hands to answer the question.

 

Among the four of us who raised our hands, the lecturer, a female in her early forties, who also happened to be the dean picked me to answer the question. I said a quiet toast to small victories in my heart as I stood up to answer the question.

 

“Elasticity of demand can be defined as…” I went on to give her the typical text book definition and sat down after she gave me three free marks with instructions on how to redeem it.

 

By the time I sat down, I looked at Ayo and noticed she already engaged in a small exchange of words with a random girl who sat beside her.

Apparently, the girl had been copying notes and crowded the table with her notes so Ayo thought this was wrong but instead of asking nicely for the books to be removed she closed the book forcefully and pushed away from her front.

 

“What was that for?” the girl asked calmly.

 

“Which kain stupid question is that?” Ayo fired unnecessarily.

 

The girl looked at Ayo intensely for a few seconds and then quietly brought out her phone from her hand bag and dialled a number.

 

“Skinny T, how far,” I heard her say.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

#WIWTBB – Who is Your Favourite Character?

Why I Want to be Bad has been running for over a year now plus my almost ten months absence (yes, I know that was not nice), but lets look on the brighter side, i’m back and have so far made quite a few good updates and i believe that you guys have started to form solid opinions about the characters and that’s what brought about the idea of this poll.

Each character has in one way or the other affected the progress of this story and I’ll like to believe that while some people have chosen to love certain characters, others have chosen to hate certain character, and for this reason I’ll like to know what you guys think about the characters.

So kindly respond to the poll below.

Why I Want To Be Bad 19

I am sorry this is coming this late but I had to write and re-write this chapter just to make sure I get it right and I think I finally did just that. Please read, enjoy and drop your thoughts.

-19-

AMAKA

Fear, anxiety, pain and love. All these are feeling and emotions which make people do things they normally would not do. I am a psychology student so trust me, I know these stuffs.

Beads of perspiration stood out on my forehead as I stood at the front of Johnson Hotel and Suites. My palms were not left out as they were also damp thanks to the excessive amount of liquid which flowed out of my sweat pores in a rush. The funny thing about the state of my body at this point is although the sweat was supposed to signify heat, I was shivering more like I was right at the North Pole. In this mixed up state, I arrived at the hotel few minutes right before the hour of six in a cab and walked straight pass the gate.

Johnson Hotel and Suites, just like any five star hotel had almost everything someone could expect a hotel of such calibre to have. The swimming pool was almost Olympic standard, the luxurious rooms came in different sizes with exorbitant prices to match and the fountain right at the middle of the bush bar which was situated at the edge of the parking lot was simple a marvel.

As I stood right there in the compound, staring widely at the huge building, I realised I had been quite foolish as I did not know where I would find Agbaya and did not even have any means of communicating with him. The hotel looked too big to go around searching for him so after much thought I decided to go and wait for him at the bush bar, purposely selecting a sit where I could see the gate clearly. I hoped he had not arrived already.

While I waited, I ordered for a bottle of small stout and tried all my possible human best not to think about what was about to go down. For a long time, I had heard so much about a certain Boogie Smallz whose mere mention of his name instilled fear in people but I had only recently put a face to the name and to my greatest surprise, it turned out that Boogie Smallz who I had started to fear without even knowing, all thanks to the consistent rumours of his ‘doings’, was Henry… small henry that looked and acted like he could not hurt a fly.

I pinched myself just as I noticed I was already thinking of the matter a little too much and took in a huge gulp from my half empty glass of Guinness. Guinness has been my favourite brand of beer since the first day I decided to drink beer. Although the Orijin hype had nearly gotten to me and made me switch brand for a while, I had returned to my default settings just as the hype died. The chilled bitterness of each sip as it slid down my throat was one that I found very satisfying.

My hope was already at the other side of the diminishing return scale when Agbaya finally drove in in his all black 2015 Toyota Highlander. He was the third in a convoy which had a total of five cars and all cars looked rather familiar to me but I was not entirely sure until they stepped out of their cars in the same order they had driven in. It was as if they had rehearsed the whole thing. After the fifth and final person stepped out of the car, they all walked majestically through the front door, it was obvious they were heading to the main bar.

I sat patiently in my seat for over ten minutes downing my drink after their arrival in an attempt not to appear too eager. At exactly fifteen minutes of their arrival, it was about 6:30pm, I felt I had delayed beyond the point of appearing eager and so I gulped down the remaining contents of my drink and went through the same door they had passed in search of my nemesis.

On getting to the bar, spotting them was not difficult in anyway as they had joined two tables meant for six and sited in their midst were basically half naked girls of all colours, tribes and race. They were all drinking, talking loudly and laughing rather excessively. Although the girls were so young one would think they were the daughters of the men I was not new to these kind of settings so I was not even surprised about that, what surprised me however was that I saw Agbaya and he had no companion, well, that is if we choose to ignore the bottle of Legend extra stout that stood elegantly at his front.

I took a deep breath and walked up to the table. Before I got to the table, Agbaya spotted me from a distance and I noticed his lips curve into a smile as he said, “Aha! My little princess is here.” I said nothing to that and kept my face straight.

“Come… come my little princess and sit on daddy’s lap,” he said with a big grin which I found very disgusting.

“I’ll rather not, sir,” I replied as I pulled a sit from the nearby table and sat on it.

“What do you want to drink?” he offered.

“Nothing sir, I’m fine,” I replied coldly. If I was going to do this, I planned on giving him all the attitude I could summon.

“Baby, we aren’t in school or within school hours so you can drop the sir and call me by my name,” he said, “you do know my name right?”

“Yes sir, I know your name but I’ll prefer to stick to the sir.”

“That’s fine by me if you insist, but for this night I’ll call you my baby,” he placed his hands on my lap as he said this and started caressing it. I pushed the hand away almost immediately.

His smile faded. “You do know why you are here or do I need to spell it out Miss Okafor?” he asked sternly.

“I do sir and I’ll appreciate if we can be quick about it. I don’t like beating around the bush,” I replied and stood up. I had checked my time piece a bit earlier and noticed time was running really fast and knowing Henry was on standby I reasoned I had to hasten things up.

“Are you always these impatient?” he asked and I ignored his question once more. He got the cue and finally stood up from his seat reluctantly after excusing himself from the table, his friends were barely interested in his departure as they all seemed to have focused on their female companions. I noticed that his friends were regular faces from school.

We walked out of the bar, down to the reception to book a room and once it was done, I took note of the room number and led the way to the room. On getting to the room I got very nervous. I had no plan of actually giving him what he wanted so I had to find a way to stall until Henry does his magic. I still was not sure about what he had planned.

Agbaya started unbuttoning his shirt as soon as he had entered the room and had locked the door. He seemed to be the impatient one now that it seemed like he was about to get some sugar. I watched as he pulled the shirt and walk slowly to me where I stood still near the door.

He placed his hands on my waist and tried to kiss me on the lips but I turned my face just at the nick of time as his black lips fell on my cheek. I pulled myself out of his grab and walked to the bathroom, “I need to freshen up,” I said. I was fully aware his eyes were on my ass as I walked, I had made sure to add an extra swing.

I texted Henry the room number quickly and then went on to do some actual freshen up all in an attempt to stall.

“Are you counting beans in there?” I heard Agbaya ask.

“I’ll be out in a bit,” I replied as I poured some water on my face and tried to stop my hands from shaking. I was very nervous as the thought of Henry boycotting me crossed my mind.

I finally came out of the bathroom to find Agbaya on only his boxer’s shorts and his stomach which looked like he had stuffed a standard basketball right into it was all bare. The hair on his chest could host a million ticks but that’s not really what turned me off totally.

I am of the believe that if I can spend hours to make sure I am totally bald in the pubic region, then no one should be excused for having as much as a strand of hair, but Agbaya was apparently scared of the razor as I could spot massive chunks of hair protruding from his enclosed armpits and some strands from his lower region also found their way up to his navel. Oh God! I swear, I felt like throwing up.

“You are not going to stand there all day, would you?” he snapped me back to reality. I had been lost in my observation.

I slowly walked towards him, where he laid on the bed in response. “Ah! Come to daddy my little princess,” he said as he opened his arms out wide in a welcoming gesture but I found the gesture very repelling as the hair was now out in the open. I swallowed saliva and kept on walking.

I climbed on the bed still fully clothed and folded my hand confidently, I had just thought of the perfect excuse to stall and hope Henry walks in.

“Before we do anything, I need us to talk about something first,” I said.

“What’s that my little princess?” he asked impatiently as he crawled closer to me.

“How do I know that after I do this you won’t just totally deny me?”

“Is that what’s worrying you?” his question was accompanied with a dry laughter.

“I just need to know that I’m not wasting my time here,” I strongly replied.

“Don’t let that worry you my little princess,” he crossed his hand over my shoulder and pulled my head closer, “you have my word,” he added.

Normally that might have been enough reason to carry on but I needed to stall longer, “and how do I know you are a man of your word?” I pushed.

“Well, the truth is there’s only one way for you to find out and that’s letting things play out and then you watch and see,” he said and pulled his arms from over my shoulder. “If you are still in doubt, you are free to leave now but I promise you won’t like the consequence.”

That was it, I had nothing else to say. I actually considered leaving the room and dealing with the consequence later but something held me back and made me stay, hoping Henry would walk in any moment from now.

That thing must have been an angel as someone knocked on the door just as Agbaya was about to kiss me once again. He ignored the knock and went on to kiss me, I let him this time as I was pretty sure of who was at the door.

A second knock came shortly afterwards and I was forced to ask, “Won’t you at least check who is at the door?”

“It’s probably room service,” he replied, “ignore them.”

His hands started to wander and he had almost gotten to my boobs when the door was forced open with a big bang and four people walked right in, I spotted Henry in their midst.

What happened next is something you do not even get to see in the worst horror movies. I do not think I can adequately describe it as a matter of fact but basically, two of the guys walked up to where Agbaya was and pulled him out of the bed and laid him on the floor, holding his hands and legs firmly.

“What’s all this? What’s going on here?” Agbaya asked as he tried to break free from their grab but it was almost impossible as the two guys clearly over-powered him.

Henry then pulled out a machete from under his shirt and walked up to where the other two boys held down Agbaya firmly.

“Ple…please do…don’t kill me… please,” Agbaya begged, he seemed to have lost his ability to speak fluently.

Henry raised up the machete and dropped it with all his strength right on his shoulder, disconnecting his right hand from the socket immediately. The scream that followed pierced through my ears so sharply it hurt. I wanted to beg for Agbaya at this point as I was feeling pity for him but I was too shocked to say a word. I had to cover my wide open mouth with my hands.

I thought that was going to be all but Henry was far from done as he proceeded to repeat the same process on the left hand. The scream this time cannot be described so I’ll leave that to your imagination.

“Henry… please… please let him go, its okay,” I finally got the guts to say. I had left the bed at this point and squatted at one of the corners of the room, placing my jaw right on my knees. My hand refused to stay still and tears were flowing freely from my eyes. I had not cried in years.

Henry heard my plea as I watched him clean the blood on the machete on the boxers of Agbaya. He then pulled back from armless Agbaya and starred at him as he screamed uncontrollably, I could not even imagine the pain he was going through.

I started feeling maybe I had asked the wrong person for help. If someone had told me Henry could be like this some weeks back, I would have bet my life savings against it but here he was, cutting off someone’s arm like he was just slicing bread. He looked like the devil at this point. So many things were going through my mind as I was still trying to stop my hands from shaking.

I know Agbaya had been very wrong but it did not mean he deserved to lose his arms, his ear deafening screams did not allow me to think properly… not like the sight before me could let me think. All this was going through my mind and many more as I believed it was all over but Henry had other plans.

He handed the machete over to the fourth guy who had not participate in all the activities since. The guy was very skinny and had a goatee which he rolled into two parts. He took the cutlass from Henry and walked towards Agbaya. Without saying a word to them, the two guys holding Agbaya down, rose him up from the floor and forced him to kneel before pushing his head down in a bowing manner.

I knew exactly what was about to happen and my mouth grew open wider. “Henry please stop this… please don’t do this… please I beg you… okay I forgive him… please don’t…” I pleaded but my pleas fell on deaf ears. Agbaya had stopped screaming at this point as he saw what was about to happen and rather started to beg.

The skinny guys, rose the cutlass so high it nearly hit the ceiling fan in the process and then brought it down on Agbaya’s neck. Agbaya screamed so loud I could swear I heard a couple of glass cups break in the kitchen. The skinny guy seeing the first strike had not been so efficient, repeated the process continuously, blood splattered all over his face as he did. Agbaya voice faded out as life left his body.

I watched as his head fell from its body and rolled over to Henry’s leg. Henry stepped on it to stop it from rolling and walked out of the room. I knew that was a picture that would never leave my head.

He did not even say one word… not to me or anyone for that matter.

TO BE CONTINUED

For Love And Hate

FOR LOVE AND HATE

“I love you, Sewa!” He said as he got close to the dining table. His eyes were moist, and veins protruded on his face, neck and arms. I wondered how long he had been crying, shedding angry, bitter tears for a love forever lost. I wondered how long he had kept those words buried in his heart. The words that he now poured on me.

I let the slice of bread and the bread knife in my hands slip freely from my hands. His words were definitely stronger, more metallic than the clanging sound the bread knife made as it fell on the plastic tray I was using to eat my breakfast of bread, butter and tea. I stared at him with my mouth agape as if wanting to swallow the words that dropped into the air from his mouth.

“You what?”

“I love you with the whole of my heart! I think of you every day. Your smiles. The sunshine in your eyes. The redness of your lips. I just love you the way you are.”

“Since when, you fool!?”

“From the day I first met you. The day we used to bathe with sand. The day you used to be the police and I used to be the thief. The day I used to be the husband and you the wife. The day of nascent laughter and childish glory. I have loved you from the sunrise of childhood…”

I had known Tayo for twenty years. I had loved that boy who tickled me, chased me about as my tiny legs ran in circles. I had loved that boy who defended me from bullies. That quiet but bold boy who held my hands to school and also to church. That boy that made people call us husband and wife. He was my dream husband before I met Francis. I had waited for Tayo to confess his love to me, and to even propose to me. But he seemed to be comfortable with us just being friends. Mere friends, can you imagine?

So when Francis came with flattering lights, I succumbed to him. I agreed to be his girlfriend, and Tayo saw nothing wrong with that. He often told me how Francis and I were a perfect match. He even advised me on how to treat Francis the right way, the way a guy wants to be treated.

Three years of meeting Francis, he proposed to me. The next day was my wedding day, and this fool, my best friend, my poet, whose words made my bones to float in the air, stood before me, proclaiming his love.

“Why didn’t you tell me before now? I have always loved you. You are such a big fool!”

“I’m very sorry, Sewa. I have been a big fool. But my foolishness ends today. Come with me, my love. Let us run away from here and begin a new life.”

He came closer, begging me to offer him my hands. I just stood still, looking at him. He moved closer, grabbed my face and kissed me like we were going to die after kissing. I stretched my hands gently, grabbed the bread knife and plunged it into his stomach.

“YOU! ARE! A! BIG! FOOL!” Each word was punctuated with a stab into his stomach. His blood washed my hands and feet. I sat, placed him on a seat next to me. Then, I placed his head on my lap, and stroked his hair, singing a dirge for a love lost, a heart broken.

THE END

Why I Want To Be Bad 18

-18-

HENRY

In recent times, I have become a huge fan of Nigerian music. The significant growth of the music industry in recent times can’t be over looked. The likes of Wande Coal, Davido, Olamide and many more have totally changed the game as they seem to sing more songs with reasonable lyrical content, better mastering and awesome videos. That was the kind of stuffs that was going through my mind as I watched MTV’s Naija Top 10 countdown show.

 

Over the past few days my life had been very interesting. More interesting than usual as a lot of things had been happening and I hadn’t even had the time to relax and watch TV, which of course we paid hard currency to subscribe the cable monthly.

 

So on getting home Maxwell had showered and left for school as usual, he was the course rep for his department so I couldn’t blame him. Me, on the other hand had declared the entire day school free day and had showered, changed into my very expensive Balmain Sweatpants and sat at the front of the TV with a bottle of Vodka.

 

The plan was to watch TV all day and it actually worked for a while but just when I was thinking just maybe I might be able to really pull it off, the whole plan fell apart and it all happened because I had a phone.

 

I was watching the famous Friends, the comedy show that brought Jennifer Aniston to the spot light when I received a text message from Amaka; I need your help, meet me at sizzlers by 3pm this afternoon. Remember I know a lot. Don’t be late.

 

As I read the text, I clicked on the Phone Lock button and returned my attention back to the TV show but after a while it hit my subconscious that the text could not be ignored. I picked up my phone and read the text one more time.

 

I glanced at the time on my phone and saw it was almost 2:45pm. Without thinking much of it, I went to the bed room, grabbed a t-shirt and just as I was about to leave the house, my phone rang once again and it was someone that had not even crossed my mind in a while.

 

“Are you not going to come and pick me again?” Mary-Anne said immediately I picked up the phone. I had totally forgotten I was supposed to pick Maryanne up from the hospital.

 

“Have you been discharged?” I asked hoping she would reply in reply in the negative so I could at least have a reason to delay her.

 

“Yes, I was just discharged and now I’m stuck in the reception as my supposed ride isn’t here yet,” she said in disgust.

 

“You should have called me earlier na,” I complained.

 

She sighed, “Henry just come and pick me.”

 

“I am a bit busy I’ll try and call Maxwell now to come instead, would that work?” I replied flatly.

 

“Anybody can come for all I care, but let him not delay o, if I inhale any more of this stale hospital air, I’ll just puke.

 

“Yea, whatever,” I hung up.

 

I called Maxwell afterwards and he was a bit reluctant but I guess being a boyfriend came with many sacrifices and commitments and that made be a little bit scared as Tonia’s green eyes and cute smile popped up in my head at the thought of it.

 

It’s always important to know when it’s time to work and when it’s time to play. I pushed thoughts of Tonia to the back of my mind and focused on the matter at hand; my meeting with Amaka.

 

***

 

MAXWELL

 

The invention of telephone brought about a quicker and more efficient means of transferring information. This very important invention has had and still have both positive and negative effects on individual, countries and even the entire earth at large. Sadly I just became a victim of the negative effect as the conversation I just had with Henry brought back memories that I would have rather left forgotten, plus it meant I was going to have to skip the one remaining lecture for the day and being the course rep made that a lot more complicated than it sounded.

 

In my absence, its believed that my assistant, Joy, would take over all my duties but as it turned out, Joy was the laziest creature I knew and only ended up being my assistant because it had to be a female and the more reasonable candidates had lost because the boys had voted based on the candidates ass sizes in which Joy enjoyed a landslide victory. She supposedly had contested just for the fun of it.

 

I clearly couldn’t leave the faith of the entire department in such hands so I was forced to look for an alternative. I had a few people I usually ran to in such times and after lots of begging and a little ‘settlement’ I found someone to cover up for me and with that I left school for the hospital.

 

On getting to the hospital spotting Maryanne was not difficult thankfully. She sat at the reception looking all lean, she seemed to have lost significant weight, her eyes were literally bulging.

 

“How are you feeling?” I asked as I helped her up and allowed her put her arms over my shoulder for support.

 

“My feet are a bit numb but other than that, I think I’m fine.”

 

“The feet are probably numb because you’ve been on bed rest for a while and haven’t had to use them for a while.” I replied.

 

“Yea, that’s true,” she replied and paused for a bit before adding, “so what was Henry doing that was so important than coming to pick me up from the hospital himself?”

 

On hearing this question I paused and glared at Maryanne. This was the first time I was alone with her in over a week and she was asking about some other guy, I don’t care even if it was Henry and wanted to voice out my thoughts but decided not to as I reasoned it would bring about an argument and that was the last thing I needed at the moment.

 

“I don’t know,” I flatly said, “have all the bills been settled?” I added.

 

“I guess so. The doctor wouldn’t have discharged me if it wasn’t settled. You know how these private hospitals are.”

 

“How much was the bill?”

 

 

‘Fifty thousand naira,” she replied.

 

“50k?” I exclaimed in true shock.

 

“More like forty-five or there about sha,” she replied and it got me thinking.

 

Henry and Mary-Anne were not exactly that close for Henry to just drop fifty thousand just like that. It’s not like he was her boyfriend or have been best of friends since but he’s heightened interest in her matter was something that rose eyebrows.

 

I kept my thoughts to myself and quietly helped Maryanne out of the hospital to where we boarded a cab to her place.

 

Mary-Anne must give me a reasonable explanation when we get home, I concluded

 

***

AMAKA

 

I got to Sizzlers fifteen minutes earlier than the projected time for my meeting with Henry. I had sent Henry that text message not because I just wanted to send it to any random guy and Henry just happened to owe me but I had been in Yaba-Tech for more than two years so it would be a shame if I claimed not to know who Henry was. I cannot exactly say if he’s the leader of his cult group but I do know he is someone with a very high rank and of undeniable importance to the fraternity.

 

I spotted a cosy spot at one of the corners of the eatery where I assumed it would be safe to have the kind of conversation I wanted to with Henry without anyone eavesdropping and I went to sit on it. I ordered for a plate of chocolate ice-cream and while I devoured it, I got busy with my phone as I launched the twitter application and started scrolling and judging people, that’s pretty much all I do whenever I am online.

 

I was already really engaged in one of the classic Twitter Ng drama when Henry walked up to my table and had to clear his throat to alert me of his presence. The drama had been so juicy that it took an extra effort for me close the application. The drama was something about a guy who had traveled for over eighteen hours all across the country just to see a girl and on getting there he spent more as he took her out to see a movie only for the girl to give him a hug, ask for permission to go to the restroom and then disappeared, she didn’t even tell the guy goodbye. While some Tweeps blamed the guy for being foolish, others cheered the girl for being so smart but I just scrolled and judged as usual.

 

“I don’t know who you think you are or what you think you know but if you ever send me such text or try to blackmail me again, I’ll make sure you don’t have a hand to type any other message again,” Henry said coldly and then turned to storm out of the eatery.

 

 

I sure did not anticipate that reaction. I sat, apparently frozen on my sit for a few seconds before I ran after him.

 

“Henry wait up,” I said as I got within arm’s length. He ignored me and kept on moving and I had to grab his hand to pull him to a halt. “Okay, I’m sorry I sounded that way but I really do need your help and wanted to make sure you came.

 

“So you thought the best way to go about that was to threaten me?” he turned to look at me, “do you know who I am?” he asked.

 

I saw this as an opportunity to lay my claim. “Actually, I do know who you are and that’s why I felt that no other person would have been more than capable to handle this case,” I said and it had the expected effect.

 

“Which case?” he asked.

 

“Agbaya,” I replied.

 

“That bastard again?” Henry sparked up and walked back to the seat I had initially chosen. He sat down and waited for me to join him before he asked, “he wants to screw you right?”

 

“Don’t you want to at least drink something?” I offered. I figured if I was going to get help from Henry that was the least I could do.

 

“Answer my question woman!” Henry yelled. His tone indicated he was far beyond angry.

 

“Yes, he wants to,” I shrugged.

 

“How? When? In fact tell me all that happened.”

 

I went on to give him the shortest version of the story I could think of, telling him the time and showed him the card Agbaya had given me. He took the card, stood up and said, “Go to the hotel, meet with him and when you book a room, text me the room number and then leave the rest to me.”

 

“What do you plan on doing?” I asked.

 

“Let me worry about that,” he replied and walked out of the eatery swiftly, I didn’t even get a chance to ask what I was supposed to be doing in the room before Henry took care of ‘it’.

 

Remember when I said this case would end today? I was not kidding.

 

***

 

HENRY

 

People always misunderstand fraternities. They hear the word cultist and they shiver or start to judge blindly. Frats are just basically a group of people with one solid goal, and that’s to fight injustice. I agree that our methods are not exactly orthodox but it sure is effective. We are the ones who give the weak a voice.

 

People who understand how the system works knows that they can bring problems and issues for us to solve and we always get the job done as far as it’s for the greater good. The only problem is that as every society have the good, the bad and the ugly, so does frats have and humans feast on the bad and ugly just as it is typical of human nature.

 

About a year back, we had an issue that was reported to us about a lecturer who literally coerced students into having sex with him just to pass his course and we had broken all his car windows and busted the tyres as well, then left a note in which he was sternly warned to desist from any act of such nature again. The threat had worked for a while as he stopped or at least we got no info of him partaking in such activities again but my meeting with Amaka just changed that. The lecturer was Agbaya.

 

I had thought about Amaka text as I sat on the passenger seat of the cab that was supposed to drop me off at Sizzlers for the meeting.

 

I and Amaka had never crossed paths. All I knew was she was Maxwell’s side chick who he never talked about and here she was, putting her hands in matters that barely concerned her and to worsen the issue she chose to use the dirt she found to threaten me. I was the National K2 and one little b.itch wanted to blackmail me? I could not have that.

 

I wanted to deal with her and could have done that easily if not for the fact that she was a friend to Maxwell and I tried to respect him. So my conclusion was to go in there, warn her and leave. Hopefully she is smarter that she looks and will back off, otherwise, I might have to take the matter up.

 

I got to the venue, walked in and warned her just as I had planned but she turned out to know a lot more than I had thought she knew. She seemed to know exactly who I was and she knew the name Agbaya would catch my attention.

 

We have a saying which so that I don’t give out too much information I would not quote but I can tell you it has to do with us never granting mercy to offenders and Agbaya just became an offender. He needed to be punished.

 

As soon as I left the eatery I called Skinny T, my right hand man, and ordered him to arrange the boys. We were going to teach Agbaya a lesson he would never forget.

 

***

 

MARY-ANNE

 

My room looked a lot different than I remembered. I never really took time to really take inventory of where things were or even the colour so I could not quite spot what was changed but I just knew something was different. I had just moved in a few months back and was not the one who furnished it so do not blame me.

 

“Can I get you anything?” Maxwell asked as he headed to her freezer, he knew I always stocked it up but as it turned out, it’s hard to stock a freezer when you are admitted into a hospital.

 

“There’s nothing in there but water,” I replied.

 

“Well, can I get you some water then?” Maxwell asked, he did not look too surprised.

 

“Nah, I’m fine,” I sat down on one chair I had in my house.

 

Maxwell went on to drink a glass of water in two quick gulps and after he returned the cup he came over to my side of the room and sat on the bed directly at my front. He grabbed my feet and pulled it up to his laps and started massaging them very delicately. I had to turn in other to be comfortable.

 

“If you continue to do that as good as you’re currently doing, I might just cum right now and right here,” I teased. He was doing such a good job though.

 

“That would be a welcomed sight. It’s been a while I made you cum,” he replied as he slowly moved his hand up my legs, massaging every spot in the process.

 

“That’s because you have not been such a good boyfriend as you used to be,” I moaned as his hands had somehow gotten to my b.oobs.

 

“Well, let me rectify that now,” he replied as he leaned over to kiss me.

 

The kiss brought back old memories of how we had met at a night club. It had been my first time in such a settings as my friends had insisted I joined them that night. I was not quite comfortable and found the place so sinister but Maxwell had somehow found me, got me talking and by the end of the night I was so drunk I don’t even recall how I got home. However I do vaguely recall giving almost everyone in the club a lap dance for free. Basically Maxwell had brought out a part of me I didn’t even know was there. Falling in love with him was easy.

 

We kissed deeply for several seconds before his hands started wandering. He went under my shirts and grabbed my b.oobs then squeezed them so hard it hurt. Pain of such form was highly welcomed. It had been a while anyone made me felt like a real woman.

 

He pulled his hands from below my shirt and then used them to pull me towards him as he laid back and I fell right on top of him, he pulled of his shirt in one swift movement and then went on to remove mine. I had no bra on as I had exhausted all my clean bras while in the hospital so my b.oobs were all bare, right at the front of his face. His smile widened.

 

I felt a bit shy as he starred at my b,oobs so intensely so I decided to lean over and kiss him on the neck putting my boobs fairly out of sight. He once told me that kisses on his neck turned him on and with that in mind I proceed to kissing even nook and cranny of his neck and then slowly went down to his chest and then back up to his lips. I was supposed to go for the small man between his legs but decided a little teasing can’t hurt.

 

As we kissed he placed his hands on my waist and gently pushed me over and then came on me this time, taking charge. He leaned over and put one of my ni.pple in his mouth with his hand fondling the other. I was literally in paradise, savouring every moment as I patiently anticipated the point where he would finally slide into me.

 

He went on with playing with my boobs for several minutes until I figured I couldn’t take it anymore, I went for his rod.

 

You know how innocent looking guys are always good at removing bras quickly that it surprises us? Well, I’m good like that with a belt. The speed Maxwell’s belt came out was rather impressive as Maxwell had to hold my hands, “babe, slow down,” he said laughing.

 

I ignored him and tried to pull his trousers down but he held my hands and repeated himself again, sounding a lot more sternly this time. I was shocked.

 

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.

 

“Yes, you did.” He replied. “What’s going on between you and Henry?” He asked.

 

I was half naked with my b.oobs all over his face and yet that didn’t stop him from asking the question I dreaded the most.

 

***

 

HENRY

 

Skinny T looks exactly just as his name entails, he was skinny… very skinny. But he is the case study of the phrase, Looks Can be Deceiving. Skinny T was an executioner and over the years had earn his place at my right hand man as I always trusted him to deliver.

 

It was 5pm and Skinny T had appeared at my doorstep with two other menacing looking guys and I had ushered them in. I went on to brief them on what had made me howl for their presence and we didn’t need to actually voice out what was about to go down before we knew exactly what to do.

 

To set the mood right, I called Scanty, my dealer to bring enough w.eed and he had turned up at my house few minutes later with the package. I paid up and returned to the room and offered it to my guests who were more than happy at the sight of it.

 

In matter of seconds the first blunt was lighted and we went on to smoke and started gingering ourselves towards the tasks at hand. As we smoked on, I decided to add a little alcohol to the picture but as I didn’t have any in the house I went to buy a bottle of Squadron. We were not known for drinking Squadron but that was the only alcohol I could find so we just had to manage.

 

As we smoked more and drank, we sang songs of gyration. Somewhere along the line, cutlasses and guns started popping out from nowhere and we brandished it among ourselves. We were getting a bit loud as we gyrated and the occasional slashing of the cutlasses on the floor but we were in our home base, nothing could go wrong.

 

And at the due time, almost 7pm, Amaka sent the long awaited text message with the hotel room number in it.

 

“It is time,” I announced and the gyrations grew louder as we all walked out of the room.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Why I Want To Be Bad 17b

-17b-

AMAKA

When I was much younger I suffered a lot from bullies. I was typically one of those fat girls that the skinny girls always pushed around just for fun but amongst all the bullies there was one I dreaded the most, Tina was her name.

The strange thing about Tina was that she was literally the smallest girl in the class but was yet the most feared, even most boys did not dare cross her path… Thinking of it now, I can’t really recall why the sight of her was really so intimidating considering her size but point still remains she was a real pain in the ass.

I do not know why but Tina took the bullying thing to a whole new level when it came to me. She made me submit my fully loaded lunch box to her every single day and then went as far as dragging me by my hair round the hall every now and then all for no reason at all.

All this went on for over a year until one day I could not take it anymore and made the decision that we all have to eventually make if we want to be free from any form of captivity. I decided I had had enough.

So what did I do? I did not sleep for a whole night to map out a grand plan to take down Tina.

Firstly, I invited everyone I knew Tina bullied for a meeting which was held in the rest room during lunch break. The goal of the meeting was to canvass support for them as to join in the rebellion I intended on starting. I simply wanted us all to start fighting back every time Tina tried to bully rather than just subject ourselves to do her will and being the supposed leader of the little organization I promised to be the first to openly rebel against her.

This brought me to the second part of my plan. I came to school the next day early as a bride on her wedding day just as usual. Dad used to work at a bank so he usually dropped me off at school on his way to work and you know how early banker go to work right?

Anyway, I sat on my sit quietly and waited till the classroom was filled up and just as expected, Tina had walked up to me and grabbed my lunch box after slapping me for not submitting it to her as she had instructed. I wanted to sting her but decided to keep my cool and let my plan just play on.

We were not allowed to eat except during lunch breaks so when lunch finally came, I passed a message across to everyone who was present at the meeting to have their eyes on Tina as something interesting was about to happen.

Tina first ate her own food, she usually came to school with snacks rather than cooked food so she happened to eat it quickly and then turned to focus on my food.

The sight of the beans and plantain must have been a real delight to her as I noticed her grin widely as soon as she opened the food flask before going on to devour the whole meal.

While she ate I patiently waited for something… Anything to happen but nothing happened. Rather she ate the whole food and snapped her fingers at me to come and carry the flask. I was devastated. That was not how I had hoped the plan would go and a glance at some of the people who were also on the lookout for the “interesting thing” was enough to tell me they were all disappointed and back to square one.

It took almost forever for the closing bell to ring as all I really wanted to do was go back home to cry and perhaps think of something else I could do to fight back as I’m not one who gave up easily but the interesting thing finally happened just as the closing bell came alive and students rushed out of the classroom excitedly.

Tina packed her books into her school bag, and stood up as she made to leave the classroom but suddenly screamed, “My stomach!” As she placed her palm on it in hope to subdue the pain before she slumped and passed out.

She was rushed to the sick bay and was lucky to have survived such attack. The test results would later show that she was a victim of food poisoning as I had added rat poison to the menu earlier that morning when I got to school.

Before you judge me, just remember that I was a kid then. It’s not like I poisoned the food with the intent of killing Tina but my line of thought was that since rat poison were made to kill rats which were very small in comparison to human, it would not be effective enough to kill a human but might just cause significant damage.

To conclude this particular ‘bully’ story, when Tina finally returned to school after spending weeks at the hospital, she did not say a word to me till we both graduated for primary school and frankly I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Now, why did I tell that story? There’s a new Tina in my life and I’m fed up once again. Problem is in this case, I can’t exactly use rat poison to fight this time but I sure have a plan.

***

FUNMI

As Henry ran out of the room clearly in pursuit of this new girl in the picture, the room became strangely quiet. It was as if no one had anything to say, at least not until Maxwell finally spoke.

“So who’s your friend?” He asked.

“Just a friend,” I replied. I wasn’t quite sure on how else I could have answered the question.

“Can we talk privately?”

I thought about it for a bit and then nodded since I couldn’t think of anything that could go wrong for just talking. I suggested we went to the balcony to talk.

“So what did you want to talk about?” I asked as I shut the door of the balcony, I didn’t want Ayo eavesdropping.

“I just wanted to apologise,” he said vaguely.

“Apologise for what?”

“Everything! The cultist thing, the accident and now this. I don’t know why I keep on doing all the wrong things and the wrong moves whereas all I really want is to see you smile,” he said.

“Oh Max, you don’t need to apologise for anything,” I replied calmly. Yes, I know I was supposed to be pissed at him but after seeing the look he had on the other night at the church I knew he was a good guy who just attracts bad situations unknowingly, besides after being through so much with him in just few days, nothing really could surprise me anymore.

“I know I’ve killed all hope I might have had to win you over, yea?”

“Maxwell, we make horrible friends. Let’s not make matters worse,” I gave a witty reply.

“I understand. But we can still be friends, right?” He asked looking all sad.

“Yea, sure. As long as you don’t try to be spontaneous. You remember how that ended last time?”

“Done! No more surprises from me,” he replied and crossed his heart. I chuckled.

“If that’s all, can we go back into the room?” I asked and he gave an affirmative response.

By the time we got back into the room, Henry was back already and he and Maxwell left shortly afterwards leave just I and Ayo all alone in the room once again.

“So what did you want to tell me?” I asked Ayo as I recall she was about to tell me something important earlier on before Maxwell and co had interrupted.

“It’s a long story,” she replied.

“Well as you can see, I have all day so start talking.”

Ayo looked uncertain. It was as if she was considering if she should tell me or not.

“Madam, you can’t appear at my door so early in the morning all the way from Ghana and tell me you are in trouble only for you not to explain what kind of trouble you are in,” I said calmly. Keeping my cool is an act I seemed to have perfected.

Ayo thought about what I had just said and then finally started her story, “well, it all started when I first met Lumusi…”

Apparently Lumusi was a rich naïve Ghanian girl who got into school and of all the people she saw, decided to make friends with Ayo. Ayo had introduced her to the life of hard drugs, boys and what have we.

Problem is although Ayo is matured enough to take care of herself and know her limit, Lumusi went on to first get infected with a deadly STD caused by the Human Papillomavirus and at the discovery of this went on to attempt suicide probably viewing the STD as a death sentence. It was at this point her family got involved and Ayo discovered that Lumusi’s father held one high office in Ghana.

The thing now is the father of the girl has ordered soldiers to investigate the matter and arrest everyone that contributed in any way to spoiling his only daughter’s life. From the person that sold the drugs to all the boys she had as little as pecked on the cheek.

Ayo was indeed in deep s.hit.

“So what’s you plan now?” I asked when she was done narrating her story to me.

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll just chill here with you till the matter dies.

Why I Want To Be Bad 17a

-17a-

 

HENRY

 

Over the years, I have learnt some valuable lessons like one can’t really be too careful. I mean you can avoid boarding a plane just so you do not end up crashing but at the end still die if a plane crashes right into your home when you are asleep but this fact doesn’t necessarily mean one should not still at least try to be careful.

 

On entering Funmi’s room, I surveyed the entire area and made sure I stood near a quick exit just in case the police decided to feel funky and follow up such ‘minor’ case or at least that is what I kept on telling myself whereas in reality I knew the police were looking for me, personally.

 

I normally would not say this but just for better understanding let’s just say that maybe I am an Aromate and if you check the police wanted list, there are chances you’ll see a certain Aro Boogie Smallz; how I got that name is a story for another day but all I can say now is my running away from the police had a lot more to do with my personal issues that just them randomly gate crashing into a party. If I had been caught, I probably would have been telling this story from Kirikiri maximum security prison.

 

“Henry!” Tonia screamed my name for like the umpteenth time.

 

“Yea?” I finally replied.

 

“Are you okay? I’ve been calling you since,” she said. I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard her earlier.

 

“I’m okay. What’s up?”

 

“Well, we were just debating on how long we might need to stay here and you haven’t made your contribution.”

 

I thought about it for a while before replying, “well that depends on either the police are taking this matter up or not.”

 

“How are we to find out?” Maxwell asked.

 

“Simple. We call Jessica, Ray J and any other person we know was at the party to ask for an update.” I suggested and then turned to Tonia, “you do have Jessica’s number right?”

 

“Yea, well… Call her right away and put the call on loud speaker.” I replied. She accepted and immediately dialled Tonia’s number.

 

“Tonia where the hell are you?!” Jessica said from the other end of the line. She picked on the second ring.

 

“I’m fine,” she replied. “Where are you?”

 

“I’m at home, I’ve been worried sick about you. I’m so sorry I made you go to that party, can you believe those sons of b.itches actually left me at the party and ran away?” She cursed.

 

On hearing what Jessica had just called us, I glanced at Maxwell and let my lips curved into a slight smile I was sure only he would see. Maxwell returned a blank look.

 

“Ask her for what later happened,” I whispered to Tonia.

 

“Jessy give me gist na, what later happened at the party after the police stormed in?” She asked.

 

“I’ll love to gist you but you still haven’t told me where you are na. When did you live the party?”

 

Tonia gave me an inquiring look and I shook my head in disapproval. She was probably asking me if she should expose her location and we were quite sure if we could trust Jessica with such information just yet.

 

“I’m somewhere safe,” Tonia finally replied. “Just tell me what later on happened at the party,” she pushed.

 

“Hmm… Antonia, are you sure you are safe?” Jessica asked, she was clearly in doubt.

 

“Jessy, don’t worry about me. I’m safe, just answer my question please.”

 

“Okay. Well, the police raided the party as you probably already know and some people were fortunate to run away but for the rest of us, they rounded us up…” Jessica started to say. She then went on to tell us how the police had separated the boys from the girls firstly before asking everyone to identify their selves. Those that were with their school I.D cards were released immediately and after lots of pleading and paying a little bribe, the girls were released. That was when Jessica was released and from her story she had no further knowledge of what happened next as she ran home afterwards.

 

“Alright, thanks. I’ll call you later,” Tonia replied when Jessica was through with her story.

 

“When are you coming home?” Jessica asked.

 

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll call you when I’m on my way.” Tonia replied and hung up.

 

“Well, at least we know that you are safe,” Maxwell said to Tonia.

 

“We still need to get the full gist and only Ray J can tell us what happened as it was his party,” I suggested.

 

“Make I call am now?” Maxwell offered.

 

“Yes, go ahead,” I replied. They seemed to have elected me as the leader and I could not recall any time when we ran an election and wanted to state my observations but I decided to keep that to myself.

 

Maxwell brought out his phone from his pocket and after scrolling through his contact list he located Ray J’s number and dialled it.

 

It took a while for Ray J to pick and Maxwell had to redial his number four times but when he did he sounded a lot more excited than he should.

 

“Mr Max! How far na?” Ray J said as soon as he picked up the call. “Abeg no vex say I no pick since, I been dey charge my phone for parlour and I been dey kitchen,” he further explained.

 

“No wahala. What’s up you na, how your bash later end?” Maxwell asked.

 

Ray J hissed before he replied, “no mind those b.astards, them been just dey find small small chopings, you know say December don dey reach so their eye dey red this period.”

 

“So dem been no arrest dem boys?”

 

“No oh, we raise small 20k give dem make dem free us. The party continue after dem commot. I been dey find una up and down sef. I just reason say una follow those people wey first run commot,” Ray J explained and I could see everybody was significantly relieved.

 

“Okay na, no p. I been just wan check on you make we know either na to dey find money come bail our man we go dey on now,” Maxwell joked.

 

“You no serious,” he replied in between laughs. “Mr Max no vex o but I been dey kind of busy before you call o.”

 

“Okay na, no wahala. I go holla you later.”

 

“Alright man, later then,” Ray J said and was about to hang up when Maxwell suddenly recalled something.

 

“Enhen, how far that blonde chick wey just dey gum you throughout the party na?” he asked.

 

“That one? Na whore she be. Na my babe before o but I later catch am dey kiss one guy like that for the party. After if I say all these girls are all b.tches they will say I don’t know what I’m talking about,” Ray J lamented.

 

“Tah! No talk dat kain thing for here o,” Ayo who had been quiet all along voiced out. She wasn’t exactly supposed to say anything as Ray J was no supposed to know the call was on loud speaker.

 

“Who be that wey talk so?” Ray J asked, sounding a little surprised.

 

“Na just one babe like that, no worry yourself,” Maxwell replied. “Make I no too waste your time, we go talk later.”

 

“No p, but wait o, why you dey ask about that b.itch?” Ray J asked.

 

Maxwell at this point clearly didn’t have a clear answer to that question so he did something funny. He quickly grabbed a nylon bag that was nearby and started squeezing it as he said saying some gibberish before he hung up. From the other end of the line it was supposed to seem like a network problem.

 

“Ashewo, na woman go kill you,” I said as I didn’t need to be told what just happened. Maxwell clearly had something to do with the blonde girl, something that if he had told Ray J it probably wouldn’t have ended well.

 

“Na you know wetin you dey talk about.” He replied with a smirk on his face.

 

“Guys lets be serious here please,” Tonia said. “Are we all free to go home now without any need to watch over our shoulder?”

 

“Sure na, abi didn’t you hear what Raymond just said about settling the case?”

 

“Alright then, in that case I’m out of here,” Tonia said as she grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

 

I glanced at Maxwell and the look he gave me indicated I should run after her. I had never really be one who understood females or tried to at all so in most cases Maxwell was my coach, he gave me relationship advice and all of that. I ran after her.

 

On getting out of the room, I didn’t spot Tonia and I had to run down the staircase and out of the gate before I finally spotted her at the end of the road. I briefly wondered if she was a witch with teleporting power for her to cover so much ground in such little time before I screamed her name.

 

She turned and stopped.

 

“What’s up with you na? You didn’t even say as much as a goodbye to me and to think that I thought we had such a special bond already,” I said with the warmest smile I could conjure.

 

“You seem like much trouble and drama,” she replied. “I don’t need any of that in my life right now.”

 

“Oh c’mon! Don’t judge a book by its cover. What happened last night is something that happens once in a blue moon. I’m sorry if I hurt you or something and I’ll be really sad if you don’t give me the chance to take you to a proper date, I owe you that much” I replied smoothly, even I was surprised by how smooth I sounded, maybe all Maxwell lectures were finally paying off.

 

“Henry, you are a nice guy but just let me be,” she replied and turned to keep on moving but I did something I wouldn’t have thought I could have the balls to ever do.

 

I grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to me and without thinking of the consequence I leaned over and kissed her… surprisingly she kissed me back.

 

You know how people talk about feeling butterflies in your stomach? I felt about a hundred of those flapping their wings happily and singing love songs right there in my stomach. As we kissed it felt like the earth had stopped spinning, nothing else seemed to matter.

 

Suddenly she stopped kissed and pulled out. “What was that for?” she asked.

 

“I… I… don’t know,” I stuttered. “It just felt like the right moment. I’m sorry,” I apologised with my face down. The butterflies were nowhere to be found now.

 

She giggled at my apology, “maybe your kind of drama is the good type,” she said, still giggling.

 

My face brightened up, “do that mean that you’ll go on a date with me?”

 

“Maybe.” She said and walked away without giving me a definite reply and frankly I didn’t need one.

 

As I walked back to Funmi’s room I thought about what just happened. I knew I had just gotten myself a girlfriend that I really had true feelings for. That only meant one thing; things were going to be different henceforth.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Why I Want To Be Bad 16

-16-

MAXWELL

It all happened so fast. One minute I was about to screw my first ever blonde girl and the next minute I was in in a car being chased in hot pursuit by a police truck.

Henry had barely allowed us to get comfortable in the car before he took off and for a split second, I really thought that maybe the police won’t bother chasing us because in reality I couldn’t think of any reason why they should in the first place! But I was wrong… dead wrong.

We had just taken our first turn when I first heard the a car roar to life, then some seconds later our car was illuminated by the powerful light that emaciated from the head lamp of the car behind us and just when I decided to pray that it was just some random car, the siren came alive. The police were chasing us.

Nothing makes you lose your ability to talk like fear. I wanted to scream at Henry and order him to stop but even though my lips moved, no sound was made. I was scared to the bone.

Henry on the other hand looked very calm and collected. I had always insisted I drove anytime we were faced with such dilemma as who was to drive a car because the one time he drove us to a friend’s wedding I nearly had a heart attack as he felt the need to make sure he drove at the fastest possible speed the car could gather and in the process nearly running into a fully loaded Conoil tanker. Maybe it’s just his nature to drive so fast or maybe he doesn’t even know he drives at daredevil speed but whatever the case may be I was glad that at least one of us seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

Tonia who sat on her toes behind us was clearly terrified to death. I knew she had a lot to say and a million questions to ask but just like me she probably couldn’t form the words. She had her palms clenched together like she was saying a prayer and she tucked it in between her legs as she looked forward at where Henry was driving, flinching every time he drove past a car and nearly hitting it, and then back at the police truck at short intervals probably praying the should just stop chasing us.

This chase went on for minutes which of course felt like hours until something strange happened, something we only see in the movies. Henry was approaching a Y-junction and instead of him to swerve to one side, he accelerated right towards the middle and then in a split second just before he hit the wall he stepped on the breaks, swerved to the left and smashed the gas pedal with so much force the car literally jumped, I heard a loud bash sound behind us as we drove at 280 km/h and I knew the police had fallen for Henry’s little trick.

After driving for another additional ten minutes and seeing no signs of the police truck behind us, I finally relaxed a bit and then said a silent prayer for the police, I asked God to make sure none of the sustain any severe injury or at worse, die.

“I think we’ve lost them,” Henry finally broke the silence. In real time, neither of us had said a word in over thirty minutes.

“Yea, I figured that.” I replied coldly.

“You’ve got to admit, that was fun… right?” he asked as he turned to look at Tonia. She glared at him in silence but he seemed to have gotten the message as he kept quiet once morning and focused on his driving, he had dropped his speed to about 200 km/h now.

“Where are we going to?” I asked, breaking the silence this time.

“Home na,” he replied.

“Are you aware that we just committed a grave crime, if the police decides to take up this case our house would be the first place they would check and you of all people should know our house isn’t that difficult to find,” I complained.

“Fair enough, so what do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” I replied at first but then I recalled Tonia was still right behind us and had an idea, “what of your place?” I asked her.

“My place? Hell no!” she yelled, a little too loudly and unnecessarily if you ask me.

“Why not? I’m sure the police didn’t see you and even if they did there’s no way they can find out where you stay since I’m sure no one at the party has access to such information.” Henry replied.

“We are not going to my place you nitwits because you left Jessy at the party,” she snapped and I immediately understood her point. If the police decided to dig extensively in to the case, getting a home address out of Jessica would be the easiest part of their task.

“Did you just call us nitwits?” Henry asked as he laughed, “So you can actually insult o, first you smoke and now this? You sure are filled with surprises.”

“You are laughing instead of you to think of a…” I was about to say but paused as my brain just understood what Henry had just said. “Wait a minute, Tonia smoked?”

“Dey there na make pant dey wear you,” Henry replied conning the Nigerian version of the more popular sleeping on the bicycle idiom. I was dumbfounded and it took an extra effort of will power for me to snap back to reality.

“About where we are to go to, I just the place,” Henry said.

“Where?” Tonia asked. She seemed more calm that expected, it’s not everyday someone gets chased by the police and isn’t caught.

“Home,” he said and paused for effect but continued before we could actually react verbally, “don’t worry yourself, we’ll go to that your smallie room. The one that just moved into the vacant room downstairs. Whats that her name again?”

“Funmi.” I replied with a sigh. I had known Funmi barely a week and she had encountered cultist, seen someone get hit by a car right in front of her eyes and now I was going to appear at the front of her door so early in the morning hoping to stay there for a while in order to avoid the police. So exciting right?

***

AMAKA

Waking up on a morning when you are hung over and receiving a text message from your course rep stating there is an impromptu test that morning is clearly how God punishes us for doing wrong sometimes.

If I am being sincere with myself, my night had gone exactly as planned. Deep down within me I had known that inviting Ink to my house at such ungodly hour to bring alcohol was going to end with me not recalling where I had thrown my panties but I had silently convinced myself that I could avoid it and only get to drink the free alcohol, sadly I was wrong as I had the best sex of my life and probably would have loved to go for another round if only I didn’t have a test early that morning.

I stood from the bed and went to the balcony to call Emma, my cab guy before waking Ink up. I was not quite sure if I should wake him up and ask him to leave nicely or do it the bad bitch way, I decided to go with nicely since I figured it wasn’t entirely his fault and I might need him again some other time. I watched as he packed up his personal effects and then he pecked me with a promise to call me later before he left. Of course he will, I sighed.

Soon as he was gone, a glance at the wall clock told me I didn’t have much time and with that mentality I ran to the bathroom and showered in flash. Picking what to wear was very easy luckily because it happened to be one of those mornings where you get a vision in the shower of the perfect outfit. By the time I was done, Emma was already waiting for me at the front yard. I hopped in and we zoomed off.

On getting to school it seemed like a good morning as the lecturer giving the test had not even arrived so I had time to make plans on who to sit with and make sure I passed the test as I even had enough time to make an expo; microchips as my fellow Nigerians call it.

By the time the lecturer finally got to the class I was well armoured and ready for whatever questions he planned on throwing at us. The good thing was that he was the only one invigilating so that meant more allowance to do whatever I had in mind as fewer eyes were watching. It sure felt like the perfect morning unlike the other day when I had had the Agbaya incident. I made a mental note to find a lasting solution to the problem but for now I had a Goliath I had to kill.

“Question one,” the lecturer started to say. “Cash at hand currently is said to have more value that cash expected later on. Discuss.” He had chosen to go easy on us and I couldn’t be anymore grateful.

He gave us a few minutes to write down the question and just when he was about to ask the second question he was distracted by a car which drove into the parking lot just outside the lecture hall and with a smile he turned to address the class, “aha! My co-invigilator is here.”

People stretched to see who had just drove in but I wasn’t going to be distracted by anything, rather I took advantage of the distraction in the hall to bring out my microchip and dig for where I had written the answer to the number one question.

“I’m sorry I am late, I got stuck in traffic on my way here,” I heard a voice say as he addressed our lecturer. It was the voice of someone I had dreaded to hear.

I rose my head until my eyes levelled with the speaker’s face and my fear was confirmed, it was Agbaya. My perfect morning just turned to my worst nightmare.

***
FUNMI

Immediately I heard the bang on the door I grabbed the nearest thing I could grab with the intent of using it to defend myself if the person banging at my door such time was planning to hurt me. I was not going down without a fight I thought as I clenched the thing tighter.

“What are you planning on doing with that comb?” Ayo asked looking sincerely perplexed.

It took her question for me to actually realise that I had grabbed a comb with the intention of using it to protect myself. Whether my subconscious had reasoned I was going to comb my attacker’s hair to death was the question I was trying to answer when a second bang on my door made me spring up from the chair I sat on and walk towards the door.

I peeped through the window to see if I could see the person at the door but that turned out to be fruitless.

“Who is that?” Ayo asked out loud, clearly referring to the person at the other side of the door.

“Open up! It’s me.” The person replied.

“Me who?” I asked.

“Maxwell!” was the reply and with that I quickly opened the door only for three people to walk pass me like they owned the place.

While Maxwell and one other chick which I was sure I had not seen before both sat down side by side on my bed, Henry went to the balcony, he looked around for a few seconds then came back into the room and then went ahead to close all my curtains before choosing to stand right beside the balcony door. I had a feeling he was just preparing himself for a situation where he might have to jump through the window.

“Can somebody tell me what the hell is happening here!” I thundered in confusion. I hadn’t even heard what Ayo had to say and here was Maxwell and his friends in my room and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.

“Can you please sit down first,” Maxwell requested politely.

“Sit down? Henry is scouting round my house like he’s expecting something bad to happen and you all look like shit but the problem you have chosen to address is me standing?” I reacted.

“You gotta admit, she sure has a good point,” Henry replied with a smile, the look Maxwell and Tonia gave him indicated he was not being very helpful.

“I’m going to explain to you what’s happening here but I really need you to sit first.” Maxwell said calmly and I wanted to spark up again but held back as I assumed sitting down would ensure I get my explanation faster.

“Are you waiting for someone to blow a trumpet before you start talking?” I sparked once more as I had sat for a few seconds and no one was talking yet.

Maxwell then went on to explain to me how they had all gone for a party which the police had raided probably because of the presence of illegal drugs that were being taken and my so called friends had taken off in their car only for them to be chased by the police and ended up losing the police car after they had tricked the driver to run straight into a dead end.

By the time Maxwell was done with his story all I could do was open my mouth in shock.

“You have fun friends, I’ll give you that much.” Ayo said.

***
AMAKA

Agbaya presence in the hall was highly unwelcomed. He had a reputation for catching students who cheated during tests and examinations but that was the least of my worries at this point as I tried to adjust to a position I could only hope he would not be able to see and recognise me.

The lecturer accepted his apology and then went on to continue dictating the questions as Agbaya got accustomed to his new job. He walked round the hall twice without seeing me or so he acted until the third round. Only difference is that he walked up straight to me.

“Miss Okafor, Stand up!” he roared even though he was right there at my front.

I sighed as I sluggishly stood up.

“What were you telling her right now?” he asked me, referring to the lady beside me who I had not even said a word to so far.

“Nothing sir,” I replied.

“Are you trying to call me a liar?” he asked.

“No sir, I just didn’t say anything to her,” I said, trying to keep calm.

“So I’m now blind, right?” he asked, “hand over your scripts to me.”

“But sir I didn’t….”

“Miss Okafor, your script!” he yelled. On normal circumstances I would have argued it to the very end or at least begged but I knew it would have been pointless so I kept my cool and handed the scripts over to him.

“You can leave the hall,” he said out loud and in a lower tone he added, “If you want all this to go away, you know what to do.”

I left the hall without uttering any word but deep within me I knew exactly what I was to do. Since Agbaya wants to take us to the street, I’ll give him street.

This matter was going to end today.

TO BE CONTINUED

Why I Want To Be Bad 15

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-15-

MARY-ANNE

As the video of Marry Me, a song by Falz; a Nigerian artiste was being shown on TV, I couldn’t help but laugh at the comical message passed.

Having regained my memory, I had called Henry and the conversation had been something like this:

Henry: Hello

Me: Hello… Henry? (I asked just to be sure)

Henry: Yea… Who’s this?

Me: Wow! You deleted my number or what? (I was sincerely pissed)

Henry: I changed my phone so I kind of lost a few numbers in the process.

Me: Oh! Okay… It’s Mary-Anne.

Henry: (a short pause) Mary-Anne?

Me: Yea, Mary-Anne. Can you come and pick me up from the hospital?

Henry: Have you been discharged?

Me: Not officially but I feel fine and want to leave.

Henry: Because you feel fine doesn’t mean you are fine, by the way, what about your memory issue?

Me: Which memory issue? (I feigned ignorance. I just felt I’ll be at a more advantaged position if he didn’t know I had regained my memory just yet)

Henry: Oh! Never mind. Anyway, it’s too late to come to the hospital. Just stay the night and I’ll come tomorrow. Try to get a little sleep, I’ll call you tomorrow. (He said and hung up before I could even object)

One of the ladies who had been gossiping about my condition the night before came into my ward and caught me laughing as I watched the Music Video on the TV screen which hung comfortably on the wall directly my front.

“Good morning Miss Mary-Anne, you look a lot better this morning. How are you feeling?” She asked as she dropped a tray which contained some drugs and a syringe.

“Great.” I replied with a warm smile.

“That’s good to know.” She said and returned the smile. “Are you having difficulties recalling something?”

Now, this was the tricky part. The nurse was indirectly asking if I had regained my memory and having lied to Henry, I wasn’t sure if I should tell the nurse the nurse the truth, but after weighing my options I decided its best not to lie to the doctor or nurse in my case.

Just as I was about to reply, the doctor; a cute guy probably in his late twenties or early thirties walked into the ward with a stethoscope hung freely round his neck.

“I see you are awake and in a good mood,” the doctor said as he picked up my file at the edge of the bed. My smile grew wider in response.

He then went ahead to check my pulse, heartbeat and some other things which he documented in my file. I felt all of that was unnecessary but what do I know?

“Everything seems normal,” he said when he was through.

“So when would I be discharged?” I asked anxiously.

“Are you having difficulties recalling some things?”

“Not at all.” I replied.

The doctor rose an eyebrow, then a smile followed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes doc, I’m totally fine.”

“Please call me Tunji,” he said with a warm smile.

“Alright. I’m totally fine Doctor Tunji. What’s up with all this memory questions?”

“I said call me just Tunji but Doctor Tunji would work. Anyway, you suffered a huge blow in the head and after advanced diagnosis it was discovered you had amnesia, selective amnesia that is,” Tunji started to explain to me in lay man terms. “Normally, it would take months or even years to get back your full memory but in your case it took you just a few days which is rare. My guess is something really personal to you triggered the memory. As for when you are going to be discharged, I’ll have to run a few more tests after which you’ll be free to go.”

“How long will the tests take?”

“A few hours. Just try so get some rest, I’ll be back to check on you later.” He said as he pulled the nurse out of the ward, he gave her a few instructions and he was gone.
**

HENRY

I wasn’t going to let thoughts of Mary-Anne’s phone call spoil my mood, so when I was offered the cannabis, I hastily took it and rolled a joint without giving a flying fuck what Tonia thought.

After lighting it up and taking a few drags in which she watched me with intense interest, she finally spoke.

“Why do you do this?” She asked.

“Do what?”

“Smoke. You know you are just killing yourself, right?”

“You won’t understand until you smoke a joint.” I gave her the stoner’s reply. “Besides, I really need this joint right now.”

She giggled, “what do you mean by you need it?”

“Cannabis acts as an anti-depressant and it makes me think better, two things I really need at the moment.”

“Anti-depressant? What’s making you depressed?” She asked, her interest seemed to have piqued.

“Nah, don’t ask. Don’t want to bore you with my boring life story.” There was no way I was going to tell her about all that was in my head. “Besides, if the smoke is really disturbing you just say so and I’ll stop right away.”

“Why I would I want you to do that? You obviously need it and…” She looked around, “everybody around here seems to be smoking so you stopping wouldn’t change anything.”

“Alright, if you say so.” There was a brief silence before I decided to try something, “do you want to take a drag?” I asked. The answer I got wasn’t expected.
***

MAXWELL

Moving her hips like a possessed Greek goddess, Jessica looked ten times sexier than any normal human should look. I sipped my drink slowly from where I sat as I watch her dance all alone, no guy probably had enough confidence to approach her and frankly, I couldn’t blame them, she looked like she was going to slap anyone who came a feet close to her.

After dancing all by herself for about five minutes, she walked up to me and turned to her back when she was close enough and started giving me a lap dance. She eventually got her lips close to my ears and whispered, “Dance with me,” seductively.

“I’m a horrible dancer,” I replied as I stood up, “but I’m willing to make a fool of myself all for you.” With that, she dragged me to the dance floor pushing a few people aside on the way.

It’s probably just a coincidence but just as she successfully pulled me to the middle of the dance floor the D.J changed the song to Jika; a South African house song which had a very specific set of dance moves which thankfully I knew. I smiled.

I watched for a bit as she struggled to grind her ass all over me before I held her firmly to a halt.

“No be everything dem dey shake yansh for,” I said laughing as I urged her to watch me teach her the dance.

In matter of seconds, a few people around me had stopped dancing and started staring at me with keen interest. Barely a minute later, the blonde lady who had called Raymond when we first got to the party stepped out of the midst of the crowd and joined me in the dance. She made a few errors at first but she was obviously a fast learner as soon enough, she started dancing almost better than me.

Jessica finally got the moves as she joined us in the middle of the already on looking spectators, she pushed the blonde lady aside just to make sure she was the one beside me, everyone noticed this but just ignored it and not long after the three of us had perfected the moves had almost everyone else at the party caught the groove and started dancing as if it was a planned choreography. I’m an attention seeker by default so this was highly welcomed.

At the peak of the song, I felt someone place his hands on my waist from behind and slowly move it in a systematic round pattern. I acted like I didn’t know as I wondered which kind of amateur pick pocket the person was while waiting for the person to actually try to steal something from me before I reacted, but then, I soon found out the person wasn’t a pick pocket as he whispered, “follow me” before leaving my waist and cat walking past me. It was the blonde girl.

Of course, I followed.

***

HENRY

Normally, when you ask a girl like Tonia if she wants to smoke, you expect her to say no and even condemn you for asking such a question but that wasn’t the case this time.

Tonia had taken the joint from me when I offered and took two long drags like a pro then passed it back to me, “puff puff pass,” she said and looked away.

I was shocked.

Puff puff pass is a phrase smokers use to suggest the joint be passed to the next person after two drags… First Puff, second puff then pass.

For her to know the phrase and drag the joint like that, she obviously smoked or something. She sure owed me an explanation but I concluded I could get my explanation anytime but as for now, we shall smoke.

We smoked three joints straight and peacefully, having short conversations in between and was on the fourth one when I started to notice some suspicious movements.

A kid, roughly about 13 years or there about walked into the backyard and just walked passed us to the other end and disappeared. There was no way a kid was supposed to be around so I knew something was wrong.

I’m very careful. That’s how survive being who I am.

“Tonia, let’s go and enjoy the party,” I said as I dropped the half joint on the floor and smashed it. She obliged willingly.

As soon as we entered the house, I heard some rushed footsteps which sounded like elephants running right there at the backyard which we just left. I knew I was lucky so I had to leave immediately.

I dropped Tonia who was oblivious to all that was happening at the bar and went in search of Maxwell, we had to leave immediately. I dialled his number a few times but it was not reachable so I decided to use the traditional method.

I asked a few specific people and I was directed to a room at the second floor of the building.

I caught a glimpse of Jessica on my way with a boy who was obviously not Maxwell in a very tight corner, they were doing things. I walked forward in my quest.

Soon enough, I got to the room and knocked on it, it was opened on the sixth knock and Maxwell popped a head of the door.

“O boy what’s up you na? You dey fuck up my parole o,” he complained.

“Guy, we gats to disembark from this arena now now.”

“Wetin dey happen?” He asked, he looked more interested now.

“SARS dey backyard now.” I replied and that was enough motivation for him to run into the room, pick up his shirt and follow me. He didn’t even give the girl in the room any explanation.

SARS stands for Special Anti-Robbery Squad. They are not fans of weed smokers as well.

We both got back to the room where I left Tonia and picked her as when made our way out of the party.

The bouncer was no longer at the gate but there was no one around as well, so we took the risk and walked pass the gate, straight to the car. Maxwell passed me the car keys and sat at the passenger seat.

Once we were all tucked in, two SARS officers appeared from nowhere and screamed, “Stop there!” As they ran towards the car.

Without thinking much about what I was about to do, I started the engine and pulled a Jason Statham stunt which involved driving to the end of the street in reverse. There was not enough space for me to turn. I nearly hit one of the SARS officer in the process.

Once I was out of the street, I changed the gear and drove forward, heading home thinking I had lost the SARS officers but they weren’t going to go down without a fight.

I saw a black Toyota Hilux truck burst out from the street I just left and turn towards my direction. They switched on their siren and light bulbs at the top of the car.

We were in deep poo and I needed to stop but I felt that the SARS officers would first beat us black and blue before they ask any question do to us if caught, I stepped on the gas pedal and took off.

The truck chased us in hot pursuit as I drove past several cars at an illegal speed, skilfully dodging all the cars.

I saw a very tricky Y junction ahead and felt it was the perfect spot to lose the truck. The plan was to let the truck pull closer to me then accelerate towards the dead end before quickly diverting to one of the roads with the hope of the truck driver not seeing the dead end and driving into it.

The planned worked, well, for a while as I watch the truck pull closer from the rear-view mirror.

Then just when I felt the timing was perfect, I stepped on the gas pedal and diverted at the right spot but for reasons best known to the devil the steering wheel failed and we drove straight into the dead end.

BASH!!!

***

FUNMI

I opened the door and allowed Ayo to enter first. I watched as she dragged her big box into the room with much effort and I smiled as I recalled I had a similar box which Maxwell had helped me with. Where was Maxwell anyway? I thought and quickly made a mental note to call him later.

When Ayo had successfully carried her box and sat down on the only available chair, I walked into the room and locked the door and went straight to the bed to sit.

“So what up?” I asked.

“Won’t you first offer me something to eat first, I’m starving,” she replied.

I sighed. “Madam, better start talking. What have you done this time?”

Ayo just stared blankly at me in response. I had known Ayo for the better half of my life so I knew what that blank stare meant; nothing was coming out of her mouth until I give her what she was asking for.

I stood up, went to the kitchen and quickly poured garri and sugar into cup. Before leaving the kitchen, I grabbed a sachet of water and returned to the room and handed it all over to her.

“No milk?” She asked and I returned her blank stare. She smiled and started drinking the garri. I had milk of course but would you have given her milk if you were in my situation?

I stared at her as she ate and patiently waited for her to finish. Once she was done, I asked again,

“So are you going to tell me why you are not Ghana?” She schooled there.

She took her time to drink the remaining water from the sachet, savouring every sip before she dropped the empty sachet in the cup.

“Funmi, I’m in big trouble. I’ve fucked up real bad this time,” she said, before I could ask for an explanation I heard a loud knock at my door.

“Open up!” The person at the door screamed.